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You Can Accomplish a Lot in Fewer Than Four Minutes

by Alan Fox 0 Comments

Years ago I was privileged to study for a week with Paul Ware, a psychiatrist who lived in Shreveport, Louisiana and specialized in treating adolescents. At the end of the workshop each of his students were given the opportunity to talk with Paul privately for fifty minutes.

I don’t really remember what we talked about when it was my turn. But when we were finished Paul said, “Is there anything else?”

I noted we only had four minutes left.  “There’s not much we can do in four minutes.”

Paul disagreed. “Give it a try,” he said.

“Well, there’s one other thing that bothers me.  Six months ago my fifteen-year-old son got angry. He left my house to go and live with his mother.  He has refused to talk to me ever since.”

“Go home and apologize,” Paul said.

“But I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I understand.  Do you want to have a relationship with your son or not?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then go home and apologize.”

Even though I was almost forty at the time, Paul’s advice was difficult for me to accept, but back home I arranged to see my son.

I told him I was sorry he was upset and apologized.

The room seemed to brighten and he accepted my apology.

We hugged and have enjoyed an excellent relationship ever since.

Obviously, that’s a very big deal for both of us.

I’m not necessarily suggesting that you apologize for anything, especially because we both know that you are always right.  I do, however, suggest that that you can have a life-changing experience in fewer than four minutes.  Like the thirty seconds forty-one years ago when I first saw Daveen working at a desk in a friend’s office.  Today we have three terrific adult daughters.

And unless something distracted you, I’ll bet that reading this blog took fewer than four minutes, although I’m not certain about the life changing part.

Thanks.

Alan

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Make Your Life as Short as You Can

by Alan Fox 0 Comments

I’m definitely not talking here about the actual length of your life as measured in “clock time”. I’m talking about the subjective time you spend on earth.

When I was young and school was out for the summer my mother used to take my brother and me to many places we loved (even though she didn’t like to drive). One of our favorites was the local zoo. I was entranced, and could spend hours watching the several enormous elephants, the many chattering monkeys, or one of the sleek tigers tearing apart raw meat.  A day at the zoo was always a treat and time passed quickly.

But on many summer days I said to my mother, “Mom, I’m bored. What can I do today?”  After all, she was my mother. Wasn’t it her job to entertain me?

She often tried, but on many days nothing seemed to interest me other than taking advantage of David, my younger brother, in any way I could.

Now, at age 79 I know how to amuse myself, which means that I know how to subjectively shorten my days.

I’m often bored on long airplane flights, especially when I’m too tired to read and too awake to doze.  Early this year I boarded an airplane in New York for a six-hour cross-country trip.  I dreaded the long flight, so in anticipation I had loaded a game onto my cell phone. As soon as the doors shut I happily began to play until, to my disbelief, after what seemed like only a few minutes the pilot interrupted my diversion to announce we were landing in Los Angeles.  Imagine that – it took fewer than three minutes to fly more than two thousand miles.

Sometimes I feel trapped in time.  One day last week seemed interminable but the following day passed in a flash.  But at times in my life it seemed that, overall, I spent too much time feeling bored.  But that is subjective.

So if a movie bores you for more than a few minutes, walk out.  There must be something more interesting you can do.  Last week I was absorbed in an intense conversation with a poet, lasting for an hour and a half “clock time”, but for only a few minutes “Alan time”.

If you’ve spent what seems like more than thirty seconds reading this blog, then I‘m not doing my job.  I value your attention, but you’ll more likely read my next blog if this one was easy to read.

A tease – next week I’m going to demonstrate how much you can improve your life in fewer than four (“clock time”) minutes.

Alan

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Avoid Investment Losses – Here Is Why

by Alan Fox 0 Comments

Will Rogers said that investing in the stock market is easy.  You buy a stock and when it goes up you sell at a profit. If the stock doesn’t go up, don’t buy it in the first place.

Drum roll, please.

On a more realistic note, I’d like to briefly and simply explain why you should aim to avoid large investment losses.

Suppose you take $10,000 and make five investments of $2,000 each.  At the end of the first year four of your investments have each increased by 15%, which is quite good.  Your total profit on that $8,000 investment is $1,200 (15% of $8,000).  So far so good.  Congratulations!

But on that final investment of $2,000 you took a flier.  Maybe you invested in a speculative stock, or in a friend’s business.  But at the end of the first year your investment has declined by 80%, which is $1,600.  Oops!

So you made four excellent investments and one bummer.  Your profit in four investments was $1,200 but your single loss on one was $1,600.  What is the total profit (or loss) on your $10,000 portfolio?  You’re probably way ahead of me even if you’re not ahead on your investments.  Your net loss was $400 ($1,200 profit minus a $1,600 loss).  This is a recipe for going broke in a hurry.

Accordingly, I suggest that, when you invest, avoid swinging for home runs.  You won’t score if you consistently strike out.  Consistent singles are more profitable.

Three additional easy to understand investment rules, that I have learned the hard way.

  1. Do not under any circumstances invest in the business of a friend or relative. If you’re tempted, give them a gift instead and save both money and the relationship.
  2. Don’t entirely trust money managers who invest in stocks. They are in business to make money from your money.  For themselves.  I once turned $30,000 in the stock market into $20,000.  Then I hired a professional money manager, who turned my $20,000 into $10,000.  I only lost 33-1/3% on my money.  The professional was more efficient and lost 50% of what remained.
  3. Invest in yourself – take classes, travel, read books that interest you. Those investments pay off handsomely.

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then by all means read more Will Rogers.

Alan

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