The Priority of Your Attention

What should you pay attention to during the next few minutes?  Reading my blog?  Answering your phone if you receive a call?  Taking a coffee break?  It all depends, doesn’t it?

Each of us has a clear sense of what we must pay attention to at any given moment, and our priorities fluctuate from one second to the next, depending upon our changing circumstances.

There are some priorities, however, which endure, but which are too often forgotten or ignored.  For example, we sometimes pay scant attention to what is going well in our lives – whether it’s work, friendships, or a primary relationship.  That can be an enormous mistake.

Several years ago my friend Sam married Linda, the love of his life.  The two were devoted to one another and lavished each other with attention. But for whatever reason — it could have been pressure from his job, other interests, or just plain dissatisfaction with his own life — Sam gradually started to take his relationship with Linda for granted. He put in longer hours at work and watched TV by himself at night. Linda, hurt by Sam’s lack of attention, stopped making Sam her priority as well. As you might have guessed, they didn’t end up staying together in what began as a very promising marriage.

You might think that it is easier to be kind to one another in a new relationship, and that it may be difficult to continue the kindness in a mature connection, but it is even more important to continue to be considerate, simply because you have more to lose.   Kindness should remain a high priority always. Over time the habit of treating each other carelessly can become a pattern which is difficult to change.

I have been in business for fifty years, and I’ve been fortunate to work with many fine people.  I try to pay attention to every one of my business associates, and have always paid special attention to everyone who is loyal to me. Many on my staff have been with me for more than a decade, and a number for more than thirty years.

One day twenty years ago Elizabeth, a key employee, was angry and complained to me about her dissatisfaction.  This was a few minutes before I was planning to leave for a family vacation.  I immediately called my wife and postponed our trip.  I spent four hours working with Elizabeth to resolve our differences, and later paid a substantial fee to rebook the airline tickets.  Elizabeth remains at my company to this day.

In my business the people I work with come first.  They are the key to our success.

My second priority is my clients.  I don’t pay the rent.  They do.

My third priority is to outside vendors, who are essential to keeping the lights on and the air conditioner working.  I do my best not to take any of them for granted.

But my top priority is always my family.  When I started out I didn’t want to “waste” my business time on personal phone calls, so I was very short with my wife, parents, or children when they called.  Over the years I have changed my thinking, and now I’m always delighted to spend time on the phone with any family member who needs my attention.  I’ll stay at work later, if necessary.

Each of us should think about our priorities in life and stick to them.  Writing my weekly blog is important to me, but sometimes I’ll take a minute to stretch my legs or for a bathroom break.

And I practice kindness wherever I go.

Alan