Shrink the Glass

They say an optimist sees the glass as half full, while the pessimist sees the same glass as half empty. 

Recently I asked an engineer about this hypothetical glass. His answer? The glass is twice as big as it needs to be. 

I’ll go with the engineer, and shrink the glass so that it is, in fact, full. I don’t have to be either a pessimist or an optimist. I just want to be happy. 


Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more, it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
         —William Shakespeare, Macbeth V


I always had mixed feelings when I attended a movie with my brother, who died a number of years ago. I go to a movie in order to enjoy myself, and I usually succeed. I ask friends what they like, I read the reviews, and I select only movies that I think will at least keep me awake. (No horror films for me, unless they’re Silence of the Lambs.) When a movie is at least 80% of my ideal, then I leave the theater very happy. If it’s between 60% and 79%, it’s OK. If it’s lower than 60%, I’ll most likely be long gone before it ends. 

David was different. Almost every time we exited the theater he would complain about some part of the movie. 

“The music was intrusive.” “Boy, the titles were awful.” “Did you notice the lapse in continuity when . . .” These were just a few of his extensive repertoire of negative comments. 

When David watched a movie he wanted to prove that he was superior to the filmmaker. But David’s disapproval diminished my enjoyment of the movie, and I suspect that his attitude reduced his own enjoyment as well. 


“Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism.”
                   —Enoch Arnold Bennett, Things That Have Interested Me


If you are at an event, say the wedding of someone you hardly know, and aren’t enjoying yourself very much, just Shrink the Glass. Reduce your expectations, focus on the flowers or whatever you do enjoy, squeeze whatever you don’t like out of your mind so that your brain (the glass in this case) will be not only full, but full of whatever it is that you like. 

To me life is a succession of experiences. Our task is to make those experiences as pleasant for ourselves as we can. Those experiences are what they are. Our reaction to those experiences is subjective, and largely within our control. The water in your glass is fixed. The size of your glass is entirely up to you.

Alan

 

Comments ( 2 )

  1. Julia Franco
    Alan, I  feel two ways about this. One one hand I don't want to lower my expectations and settle for experiences that are sub-par, that don't fill me with joy or contentment. I want the best, without compromise. On the other hand, being disappointed and discontented because of what I perceive as failings, on the part of our government, our culture, other individuals, is a sour-puss approach to life. So, maybe an attitude adjustment is an easier fix than railing against what I perceive as an unpleasant experience, one I can't control. I can control my reaction, and another piece of common wisdom is that you get back what you put out. I will begin today to shrink my glass.  Thank you. Looking forward to your Vroman's reading on Friday.   
    • Alan C. Fox

      Julia, you said it best – you want the best, without compromise. I can easily relate to you there. But it really isn’t about compromising, it’s about knowing who you are and what your inner joys are. Also, joy happens when your positive expectations are met.  When I go to a movie with my father he frequently does not especially like the movie.  But he always tells me that he enjoys being with me.  Stay focused on the positive! I look forward to sharing stories and seeing you on Friday. - Alan 

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