What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

by Alan C. Fox 1 Comment

swimwithsharks-unafraid-peopletools“I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
“And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
“And in short, I was afraid.” – T.S. Eliot The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

We live in a scary world.  You can die at any moment in an auto accident or from a heart attack. A friend of mine died two days after she fell and hit her head on the kitchen floor.

But death isn’t all we’re afraid of.  Many of us have fears about money or relationships, and all who are parents fear for the safety of their children.

Some of our fears are rational and demand we take precautions.  Every time someone leaves my house I remind them to drive carefully.

Many of our fears, however, are not based on logic.  My cousin Helen is afraid to fly.  She’s missed many family events because she refuses to board an airplane, despite the fact that since 2001 there have been only two deaths in the United States involving a major airline.  My cousin is delighted, however, to drive daily, even though riding in a car is far more dangerous than riding in an airplane.

Last week I attended a conference at Stanford University.  The keynote speaker was the photographer Platon.  He asked the question, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

This is not an easy question for me to answer.  Maybe I’m afraid I might discover something really scary, but I’ll give it a try.

  1. I’m uncomfortable with “small talk.” It feels like a waste of time and I don’t think I’m good at it.  If I wasn’t afraid, I would initiate conversations that are serious and personal so I could connect with people on a deeper and more meaningful level.
  2. I would work fewer hours at my office. I’m afraid that if I don’t work long hours everything here will go to you-know-where in the proverbial handbasket. (I have an excellent staff, and I’m not saying that my fear is rational.)
  3. I would write a lot more than just my blog every week, but I’m afraid my further writing might fail to achieve the depth and wisdom I strive for.
  4. I would read much more if I weren’t afraid of falling short on accomplishing a lot each day.

These are some of my bigger fears, but in thinking about what I’m afraid of I also realize that I’ve been the most successful in areas where I’m not afraid.  I’ve never been afraid of money, and I’ve done well in that area.  I’ve had many relationships and have learned to maintain only those which work for me, even though it’s painful to reject or be rejected.  I’ve also learned to be open and vulnerable and set aside my fear of being hurt.  I find that the more I put into a relationship the more I get out of it.

But, alas, not being afraid is easier said than done.  Platon’s keynote address was outstanding and I knew he deserved a standing ovation.  When he finished his speech I applauded with enthusiasm.  Yet before leaping to my feet I peeked around the room.  No one was standing.  I didn’t want be seen as a fool and I remained in my seat.

Yes, T.S., Eliot, “And in short, I was afraid.”

What would we all do if we weren’t afraid?  That’s easy.  We would live more truthful, eloquent, and fulfilling lives.

Alan

Comment ( 1 )

  1. Wendy Parrott
    Alan I am constantly amazed at the simple wisdom you give in your blog. Thanks for sharing with us all. Wendy

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