Many years ago, when I arrived home from work, my wife Susan would ask me what happened during my day. It took me a while to understand that what she wanted was an hour-by-hour summary of my entire day. But because my mind doesn’t work that way, I wasn’t able to answer her effectively. It took us awhile to figure out the disconnect between us so we could communicate better.
My recollections of what happened during my day are like a ticker tape of random information. My memories are not organized chronologically. My mind subconsciously clips each “article” of information and places it in the appropriate file with other related experiences. In that way – I “cache” my memories so they make the most sense to me. Organizing events consecutively is not relevant to my internal way of thinking, and it is difficult or impossible for me to reproduce my day chronologically afterwards.
The amount we can share with another person is always limited. This is true even with those closest to you: your parents, your children, or your life partner. Obviously, I can’t spend eight hours each evening with a minute-by-minute recap of my entire day.
But part of a good relationship is realizing and respecting each other’s differences and working out accommodations and compromises. For example, I like to go to sleep at 11:00 pm every night. Daveen is a night owl and likes to read until the wee hours of the morning. So we cuddle while I fall asleep. After that Daveen is free to do whatever she likes. Maybe she’s a secret night-marathon runner?
But just like my periodic reports to Susan, this blog only reflects snippets of what actually happens my life, not the whole shebang (hebang?). I have to be selective in sharing with important people in my life what might be important or interesting. This certainly applies to what I can share in this weekly blog.
Let’s face it. Much of life is the “same old”. And there is comfort in that. But I suppose that’s also why we enjoy watching movies or TV – so we can experience someone like Tom Cruise leaping off mountain peaks or driving a car at 200 miles per hour.
But I’ll happily settle for what you choose to share with me if it is important to you. Those moments of meaningful expression matter, because that is what keeps us connected.
A penny for your snippet?
Alan