Play the Hand You’re Dealt

I occasionally watch poker on TV.  Some players are professional, some are amateur, but they all share the same challenge – to play the hand they’re dealt.  If their first two cards are aces, they play two aces.  If their first two cards are a two and a three, they start with a weak hand.  Regardless, no one can ask for a different hand.

That’s exactly what we face every day.  We don’t control what happens to us (the hand).  We do control our reaction to it (how we play).

This morning I read an article in The Atlantic entitled, “What It Takes to be a Trial Lawyer If You’re Not a Man.”  I emailed the article to several excellent female trial attorneys.  J.F. responded, “It helps to remember it cuts both ways – sometimes your perceived weaknesses can be strengths, if you figure out how to play your cards well & are willing to be a bit lucky.”

That’s why J.F. is a successful trial attorney.  She recognizes both her weaknesses and her strengths. She remembers her ultimate goal is to serve the best interest of her client.  She plays the hand she is dealt, and is willing to take a chance.

Years ago I asked a woman for a date.

“Sorry, Alan, I only date guys who are blond, blue eyes, and six foot three.”

“Thanks for telling me,” I said.  “I might be able to do something about blond hair and blue eyes, but I can’t do much about my being five foot eight.”

I played the hand I was dealt and never saw her again.  Fortunately, other women like men who are my height.

Sometimes we can influence the hand.

An outstanding New York trial attorney I hired told me that his firm was asked to take on more than five hundred new cases a year but they accepted only fifty.

“A case has to meet three criteria.  First, it has to be within our area of expertise.  Second, the client has to have a reasonably good case.  And finally, the client has to be able to pay our fees.”

The same attorney also said, “Our job is not to win for you at trial.  Our job is to represent you so well that the other side will settle on a reasonable basis.”  A year and a half later that is exactly what happened.

Can you stack the deck in your favor?  Just a bit. I heard a comedian in Scotland joke, “I’m on a seafood diet.  I see food, I eat it.”

Me too.

I never buy cookies at a grocery store, which is why I never eat cookies at home.  I don’t see them.  Of course, for a party I’ll buy desert.  But not cookies.  It’s too easy for me to eat just one.  Or two.  Or, well, three.  It’s not so easy for me to sneak a slice from a chocolate cake, which is what I usually buy.  And when my guests leave I insist they take all leftover cake with them.  I know what happens if they don’t.

Once I was playing poker with a group including my father.  He had the best poker hand you can get – a royal flush.  He didn’t bet much because he didn’t want to scare off the rest of us.

Of course, Dad won.  It does help if you hold the right cards but, regardless, you have to play the hand you’re dealt against the hand that was dealt to someone else.

Alan