A New Frame

“A New Frame” is my latest People Tool.

One of my favorite works of art in my home is a small drawing of a cottage.  It was not always my favorite.  One day Dan, a friend and professional art framer, visited and noticed the drawing hanging on the wall of my den.

“In a new frame,” he said, “that cottage would be exquisite.”

“Be my guest.”

I handed the drawing to him.  Years before I had concluded that, to get the best results, I needed to trust the experts.  Of course, as a well-known former president also said, “Trust, but verify.”

In this case verification was easy.  Two months later Dan returned with the reframed drawing.  He was absolutely right.  The cottage had been transformed from “nice” to “special.”  It’s my favorite to this day.

From my children I have learned that the concept of “reframing” has become popular in psychology.  This is not about art on the wall, but rather about how we each frame the experiences and expectations of our lives.

This year Covid-19 has affected almost everyone on the planet.  The words most commonly used to frame our shared experience are negative.  “Afraid,” “isolated,” and “uncertain” come to mind.  Perhaps each of these is true, but just like the old frame for my drawing we can certainly reframe our view of the world.

Couldn’t we also frame the pandemic positively? Perhaps we could think of it as “more time with family,” “less traffic,” or “a great opportunity to learn something new.”

The frame is just as important, perhaps even more important, than the picture, especially when we focus on our own state of mind.  Inside a happy frame my body relaxes. A negative frame of mind puts my stomach in knots.

In addition to reframing our experiences, we can also reframe our expectations.  My mantra is, “Expect the best, plan for the worst.”  But even in the worst of times I comfort myself with the idea, “I will prevail.”  Sometimes I don’t know how, but I’m confident that I will and that makes all the difference in how I feel each day.

To start putting your experiences and expectations into a new frame, consider telling yourself once each morning, and once each evening, something you expect to enjoy, or actually have enjoyed that day.  And when your mind responds with, “Yeah, but also remember the problems,” just say to yourself, “no, thanks,” and refocus on the positive.

You deserve a new and radiant frame in which to view the work of art that is your life.

Alan