Pick Your Battles

As December brings this year to its inevitable end, I’ve been contemplating how I might improve my life in 2021.  I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions because mine seem to disappear moments after I make them.

In light of that, I consider instead my core values – those issues I will not compromise.  My basic core belief is that we are here to help each other in whatever way we can.

A few days ago my youngest daughter and her husband visited our home with their three dogs.  The large dog, Brady, likes to lie on the sofa in our family room.

After they left, another family member observed, “I’m surprised you let Brady lie on the sofa.  We never let our dogs do that.”

I understand her surprise.

One of my strongest childhood memories is of the constant fight I had with my dad about taking care of my cocker spaniel. The dog liked to pee all over our dining room carpet.  One day my dog disappeared.

“I gave her to another family,” my dad said.  Since the dog reappeared two days later, hungry and unkempt, I suspect that Dad just dropped her off on the street a few miles away.  The second time my dad “gave her to another family” she didn’t return.  He probably just drove a little further.  Despite feeling sad, I must admit, some part of me was relieved that my father and I would no longer fight over the dog.

I have not owned a dog during my entire adult life.  I resisted the heartfelt pleas of my children, all of whom now own dogs as adults.  To me the pleasure of owning a dog (or three) is simply not worth the effort of taking care of them.  To be clear, there are many dogs I like – as long as I don’t have to feed them, walk them, or take them to the vet after they have encountered a skunk.

But I have no core value that insists a dog can’t rest on my sofa.  While that’s not my first choice, my higher value is to welcome family and friends when they visit, and that includes their dogs.

In 2021 I plan to continue to “go along to get along.”  It works for me, and I’ve had a wonderful year with those I love.  We’ve supported each other through the pandemic, with very little friction.

When I pick my battles I don’t have many.

I wish you a Happy New Year.

Love,

Alan