Teaching

My father died shortly before his 105^th birthday. That’s a pretty good run to look forward to (unless you’re 104).  On July 14^th 2021, he would have been 107 years old.

I’ve heard it said that a man never really grows up until his father dies. While I can’t say if that is always true, I can say that since my father’s death, I appreciate him more every day.

My father was a professional musician who grew up in New York City. He moved to California to work in Hollywood.  While he never finished college, he was a natural teacher, and developed a number of parenting tools that were very effective.

My brother David was 3 years younger than me.  In the fourth grade David still had difficulty reading.  I had been taught to read phonetically – by sounding out words, letter by letter.  But when my brother was learning to read the teaching methods had changed.  He was taught sight-reading, not phonics, and was expected to recognize entire words.  That didn’t work for David.

My dad didn’t hire a tutor for my brother or study books on how to teach reading. Dad simply showed David how to sound out each word. After failing to learn to read at school, David succeeded at home.

Another parenting innovation I learned from my dad was the family conference.  If any member of our family had a problem with any other family member we could call a conference.  Whoever called the conference could talk about his problem without interruption.  After that we could all discuss it.  That experience taught me that I learn a lot more when I listen than when I talk (even though it can be more fun to talk).

We learn, and teach – both in words and by example – every single day.

Give someone a fish and you feed them for a day.  Teach people how to fish and you feed them for a lifetime.

Thanks for all the lessons Dad.

Alan