A Good Friend Will Tell You the Truth

I once gave a speech in my Junior High School Social Studies class.  The entire class found my talk hilarious.  They laughed from beginning to end.  The reason was that my fly had been unzipped throughout my presentation. I learned this later from my best friend who hadn’t said anything before I stood up in front of the class.

We are often reluctant to risk offending other people because we want them to like us. But are we doing them a favor? We can all think of times where we wished someone had said something to us so we could have taken a corrective action sooner.

Have you ever had a smudge on your face that no one told you about until late in the day? What about food in your teeth when you were busy grinning at everyone you met?

I prefer that you be authentic with me, and mention when you notice something about me you think I would be better served by knowing.  You can still be polite.  “Uh, you have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe?” is a lot better than laughing at me as I walk out of the restaurant.

We each have one life to live.  Let’s help each other out, in a kind and respectful way, by letting each other know what is really going on inside our minds and hearts.  That’s the only way I know of in which we can truly connect on a deep and loving basis.

I often share my writing with friends and other writers and I trust them to tell me what they really think. I trust them to show me where I might have missed an opportunity to go deeper or where I might have written something that falls flat. I don’t expect them to politely pay me a compliment when they think my writing isn’t as good as it might otherwise be. That is why I share it with them.

I still sometimes forget to zip my pants, and I’m glad that a few people in my office will tell me.

I encourage you to ask your friends to tell you whenever you have a something green stuck between your teeth.  And, heaven forbid, please tell me if I ever have bad breath.

We’re all in this together.

Alan