A Life Structure

We all have structure in our lives.

When we are young the structure is provided by our parents.  They decide our bedtime, what friends we have play dates with, and where we live.  As we grow older the structure is provided by our schools – where we go to school, who will teach us, and exactly what they will teach.  Ultimately, structure is provided by a society that has already laid down the roads, built the cities, and imposed the laws.

As we get older, we learn to construct our own personal life structure, to the dismay of our parents who are never quite ready for the amount of independence we desire.  I still remember the ongoing arguments my first wife had with our then four-year-old daughter who wanted to pick out her own clothes for school.

By the time I was 31 years old I had begun my own business, was the proud father of three children, and was in the middle of divorce proceedings.  I moved back to live with my parents.

Temporarily.

On the first morning of my “visit” my dad said at breakfast, “You know, Alan, we have certain rules we expect you to follow in our house.”  My immediate reaction was to smile on the outside, and to begin planning my escape on the inside.  I stayed with my folks for less than a month.

I now work in my office Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Last Tuesday morning when I woke up I checked my calendar for the day.  I found nothing.  No appointments. No reminders.  In short, no structure.

“That’s interesting,” I thought.  I was uncomfortably facing a blank day and, sure enough, immediately started to fill in those blanks with plans – i.e., structure.

As adults, each of us is the architect of our own life structure.

I hope you enjoy your view.

Alan