A Sense of Entitlement

The most important lesson I learned in high school was not from my classmates or from a lesson plan. (I’ve shared an earlier version of this story with you before, but find it worth repeating and remembering.)

I enrolled in high school Latin because I thought it was a pre-requisite for law school.  That turned out to be wrong, and I should have taken something more practical – like Spanish. But at least I can now distinguish my sine qua nons from my quid pro quos.

In Latin class I sat behind Pete Lipmann, who was the only member of my high school class to attend Cal Tech, one of the most difficult colleges to get into in the United States.

Our Latin teacher was Mrs. Agulia.  She had won a big grant to study in Rome and, in addition to Latin, she taught us a lot about the ancient city. Also, as it turns out, she taught me an important lesson, in English, about dealing with other people.

When our final exams were returned, Pete had received a “B+,” while I had received an “A-.”  Both Pete and I were hovering between a final grade of an “A” or a “B” in the class.

I was not known either for my diplomacy or my discretion in those days. When I saw our respective grades from the final exam, I blurted out in front of the entire class, “Mrs. Agulia. This is great.  Now if you give Pete an “A”, you’ll have to give me one.”  Perhaps I was upset, believing she liked Pete better than she liked me.  If she did, I’m sure I gave her reasons.

Mrs. Agulia was less than 5 feet tall, but commanded the room with her eyes.  She stared directly back at me.

“Alan – I don’t have to do anything.”

Then there was silence.

The following week we received our report cards.  Pete received an “A.”  I received a “B.”

Touché!

Even today this memory from more than sixty years ago reminds me that a sense of entitlement never got me very far in life. Since then I have learned that a sincere appreciation for others, expressed with kindness, not only feels better, but also yields a more positive result for everyone.

To Mrs. Agulia, wherever you are, I again thank you.

Alan