Are Your Parenting (And People) Skills Ready for Prime Time?

Your children want things from you all the time – a dinosaur toy, a book (hopefully), or a car (ouch!).   Other people want things from you – advice, a pat on the back, or a loan of money.   Heck, you want things from other people all the time – a sandwich, a date, a business or personal reference.

The two basic answers to a request are “Yes” and “No.”  Dress those two up however you like, but it’s always comes down to a ”yes,” or a “no”.  (I consider “maybe” to be a cowardly “no” — every single time I say it.)

So how can you achieve a result that is both positive and constructive?   Most of us don’t really think about it.  Accordingly, our answer is often a quick “No.” Or, perhaps a little better, “No, I don’t have time right now.”

But how can you respond to every request with a yes?

I suggest that you implant in your soul the idea that your initial response should always be “Yes.”  I’m not saying that you will immediately buy your 16-year-old their own car.  Or that you say yes to activities that might be unsafe or illegal.  I am saying that a positive response to any reasonable request will brighten both your day and theirs.

So as an alternative to “no,” please also insert into your psyche, “Yes, as soon as…”

“Yes, I will help you buy a car as soon as your report card reflects at least a “B” average and you are able to pay for half.”

“Yes, you can play with the dinosaur as soon as you straighten up the rest of your toys.”

Sometimes, of course, it’s fine to respond with an unqualified “Yes.”

“Yes, I will happily buy you the book. I look forward to hearing your thoughts after you’ve read it.”

But always respond positively, even if that requires you to think (horrors!) and become a bit creative.  Your kids will like you better.  So will your friends and business associates.  And you will be happier with your own life.

Does this People Tool really work?

Yes. Like magic.  As soon as you start using it.

Alan