Alan Fox

I created an equation years ago: Happiness equals expectations minus perception of reality.

This means that if you are expecting a bonus of $100.00 and receive only $50.00, you will be disappointed.  If you expect a bonus of $25.00, however, and receive $45.00, then you will be pleased even though the absolute amount of the bonus is $5.00 less.

So, for increased happiness, my advice to you is don’t expect more than you think you will receive.

At the Winter Olympics Red Gerard, 17 years old, was the first gold medal winner for the United States.  Did he expect to win the gold medal?  In his own words:

“I’m absolutely just mind-blown. I can’t believe everything worked out, and honestly I don’t think I’ve really had time to let it set in yet. I’m just so happy I got to land a run, and just to end up on the podium is awesome.”

He didn’t even talk about winning the gold medal.  For him, just ending up on the podium was awesome.

On to my own athletic saga:  Alan and the Pogo Stick.

Originally I thought I would buy the pogo stick and accessories as a fun way to get some exercise. Upon delivery, I adjusted that plan, but still intended to take some jumps on it while Sprite took a few photos or a video, and then I would be finished.  I didn’t expect a gold medal.  I didn’t even expect to stand on a podium.  I only expected to accomplish my goal of jumping on the pogo stick, at least once. If you have been following my blog for the past few weeks you may have expected the same thing.

It hasn’t been that easy.  First of all, it is not a kid’s pogo stick.  It has a pressurized air chamber.  When my young techie friend Kevin pumped air into the pogo stick he jumped on for a test ride and ended up smashed against the corner of his desk.  I was not encouraged.  In fact, I was scared.

In my office, with Kevin holding on for balance, I tried to step onto my pogo stick and try it out.  That was easier said than done.  I think I have pretty good balance.  My pogo stick disagrees.  It tried to tip me over.  Pogo stick 1, Alan 0.

Kevin suggested that I try it out on a grass field.  “Better to fall on grass than on concrete.”  He was right.  But I was not encouraged.  In fact, I was discouraged.

I am not eager to go to the park to fall on the ground.  But it’s now or never time.  This coming week I will either take a few jumps on it, or donate the darned thing to the Olympic Committee for Pogo Sticking.  Or to Red Gerard.  I’ll bet he would be leaping ten feet into the air within a few minutes.  But I’m sixty years older than he is, and anyway he’s going to be too busy signing autographs for the next several years.

I’m sorry about not meeting your expectations.  Or mine.  Give me just one more week.  Please.  And I’ve decided not to buy a big dog with an enormous appetite.

Stay tuned.  Just don’t expect too much.

Thanks.

Alan

I’ve heard it said that “life is what happens while you’re making plans.”

As mentioned in a previous blog, I’ve received my new adult pogo stick, helmet, bicycle pump, and ankle braces.  I’ve taken everything out of their boxes. My daughter told me last week that I bought a pogo stick for her when she was a child, and while I’d like to believe that I remember everything accurately, I didn’t remember that.

When my pogo stick popped out of the cardboard box, there was a page of instructions attached proclaiming in large bold letters:  READ ME!  That seemed like a good idea but . . . well, I was indisposed on Sunday and didn’t get around to “reading me” until Monday afternoon – that is now.  The first instruction is:

“We highly HIGHLY recommend giving this Pogo 101 tutorial a watch.  It’ll take 5 minutes of time but save you tons of frustration when learning.”

I confess that I hate to read instructions.  I believe that the operation of anything should be intuitive and that I’m smart enough to figure it out without reading the instructions.  Heck, as I remember, I learned to ride a bicycle pretty quickly with no instructions other than my father’s plaintive, “Balance!”  Also, I don’t particularly like to watch short videos unless they’re funny.  Sprite showed me a video this morning of a dog doing yoga.  The dog was better than I am at yoga, and the video was funny.

The good news is that I haven’t harmed myself yet on my pogo stick.  The bad news is I haven’t yet tried it.  Perhaps my conscious mind has been saying, “go for it,” and my unconscious is saying, “no – this could be dangerous.”  Thanks Freud.  The trouble with my unconscious is that the only way I can guess what messages it is sending to me is to watch what I actually do.  Kind of like politicians – you have to watch what they actually do (not what they say) to find out what their unconscious mind is really thinking.

Well, I am going to bounce on my pogo stick.  This coming week.  I promise.  I’ve even picked out a slab of concrete in front of my house for the experiment.  I hope the tutorial doesn’t insist that I go to the park.  Exercise belongs at home, where you don’t have to drive and can take a quick shower and nap afterward.

In the immortal words of The Fifth Dimension, – words I think I first read in Superman comics (or was it Captain Marvel), “Up, up and away!”

In case you’re worried, although my new pogo stick can bounce more than ten feet high, I asked the manufacturer to make sure mine bounces to only four or five feet.  I’m sure that will be more than enough.

I’ll confess, I’m reminded of how I felt in grade school when I was instructed to take a turn at the high jump.  I would run up to the bar, and stop.  Repeatedly.

But the run up is over.  Next week you’ll see a photo of me on a pogo stick with a bounce in my step.

Alan