Alan Fox

It was bound to happen.

After writing my blog every week for more than ten years I’m sitting at my desk at 1:49 pm on Monday afternoon, wondering what I should write about.

In freshman psychology I learned that if you can’t solve a problem consciously, just stuff it into your subconscious and wait for the answer.  I even wrote a People Tool about that.

Hello, subconscious.  You don’t have much time left.

Aha!  Subconscious suggests writing the story of my Shakespeare class.  That’s as good an idea as any.

But as my subconscious often does these days – it forgot that I’ve already shared that story with you in a previous blog. But in case you are as forgetful as I am, (and I know many of us are) let me briefly remind you.  In my second year of law school, I was rather bored with law classes, so as a treat to myself I enrolled, at no extra cost, in an evening Shakespeare course.  This meant that I would be in class from 8:00 am until 9:45 pm, with only a short break for lunch.  Little did I realize how much I would enjoy that class or that it would turn out to be the very best class of my life.

During the second lecture, other students peppered the instructor, Dr. Alan Cason, with questions. “Save your questions for the end of my lecture.  I probably will have answered all your questions by then.” I thought he was arrogant, and promised myself I would have at least six questions for him at the end of class.  I even wrote them down.

Unfortunately, I failed to ask him any questions, because by the end of his lecture, he did, in fact, answer every question I’d thought of, as well as many I could never have imagined.

What brought this to mind was the lecture I attended last week by Thomas Friedman, long-time columnist for the New York Times.  His words were both informative and highly interesting. I was reminded, once again, how much I enjoy a fine lecture.

So, if you’re looking for something new to do, consider enrolling in an extension class, or attending a lecture.  The secret?  Pay no attention to the subject matter.  Just find someone who really knows her or his subject and can speak in a manner that is both informative and entertaining.

Not only are you likely to enjoy yourself, but it’s inevitable you’ll learn something too.

Alan

I don’t remember a whole lot about the specific lessons I learned in high school, but I do remember the Pythagorean Theorem.

The Pythagorean theorem is the one that provides an equation to calculate the longer side of a right triangle by summing the squares of the other two sides. Or written as an equation:  a² + b² = c².  My geometry teacher, like so many others over the past several centuries, challenged my class to come up with a proof. Maybe some of us tried, but none of us succeeded.

On Sunday evening “60 Minutes” featured a story about two high school girls who successfully solved the problem using trigonometry, something mathematicians had thought impossible. The media coverage of their accomplishment has been extensive.

When asked why people were so impressed, the girls responded, “because we’re African American… And we’re also women… oh, and our age.”

But these girls come from a very long line of barrier-breaking students who attend St. Mary’s Academy in New Orleans, a school that was founded on the premise that the girls who attend can accomplish anything.

The message the girls hear from the minute they walk through the door is that their potential is boundless.

This blog is not about math. It’s about capital E – Encouragement. I believe that a strong dose of encouragement significantly increases anyone’s chance of success, even when faced with serious setbacks or obstacles.

When we try to protect our children from Failure (the real “F” word) by not offering encouragement, we are paving the way to lack of success.  This is true not only for our children, but ourselves as well.  Perhaps the best way to avoid failure is simply not to try in the first place. But it is also the best way to never achieve any of your dreams and goals.  Ever.

Which is why I encourage parents and students everywhere to use Encouragement. It is a basic, and yet pivotal tool for success.

Why?  Because it works. Just look at the two high school students who solved a math problem that mathematicians thought was impossible for almost 2000 years.

They are my proof.

Alan

PS.  Additional proof.  Every student at St. Mary’s Academy in New Orleans over the past 19 years has graduated and been accepted to college.

When my father died unexpectedly (although at age 104 death is never entirely unexpected) my son Craig and his family were on vacation in Hawaii.  There were no direct flights to Los Angeles that would arrive in time for the morning funeral, so Craig arranged to fly back via Seattle. He showed up ten minutes before it began.

I call that, “being there.”  When it really counts, there is no substitute for showing up for those you love.

When I was young, I promised myself that I would personally attend all the important events in my Childrens’ lives.  Piano recitals, elementary school graduations, Father/Daughter Days – every single one.  My mother had set a wonderful example by always being there for me, and my dad was also there whenever it counted.

Perhaps today we are all busier than we were years ago.  We have many distractions, not the least of which is the cell phone.  I still remember the Dick Tracy comic strip in which I saw my first, fictional, two-way wrist radio.  “What a great idea that is,” I thought.  (Though of course, I never believed it would really happen.)

But, in the final analysis, we all exist on a human level.  We need talk, touch, and support to survive and prosper.  This is especially important for our children.

Last weekend I spent a beautiful Friday afternoon at a track meet where my 13-year-old grandson ran the 1,600-meter race.  On Sunday afternoon I attended a performance of the musical Urinetown, performed by another grandson’s high school drama department.  I still remember, almost fifty years ago, enjoying my daughter Jill’s performance as Vera in a Junior High School performance of Auntie Mame.  These are memories I treasure.

I’ve heard it said that when we look back on our lives, no one ever wishes they had spent more time at the office.  I certainly don’t.

Instead, in looking back, may we smile with delight as we relish the times we’ve spent doing what’s really important – simply being there.

Alan