Alan Fox

It was the final day of our vacation.  In fact, it was the final evening.  We had signed up for a dinner cruise in Sydney Harbor.

Mistake.  Big.

We could have been packing our luggage, enjoying the Elvis movie on our watch list, or savoring a final meal on the cruise ship.  But, instead, we were slowly touring Sydney Harbor — a tour we had taken several times before and realized, too late, that this was one too many.

Finally, at ten pm, we arrived back at the dock.  We could easily see our cruise ship, only 500 yards away.  But there was a body of water in between where we had docked and our ship. The bus ride back to the ship would take close to half an hour.

I was in a hurry to return and was among the first passengers off the dinner boat.  Soon I was leading the pack to the bus that would deliver us to the Viking Mars.  Then we encountered the first problem.  As we walked up to the landing we nearly crashed into a sign: “Dock closed at dusk.”  Okay.  It was just a sign, and I was not going to let a sign cause me to spend a chilly night on the dock.  Please keep this our little secret: sometimes I ignore signs.

But I couldn’t ignore the two barriers that were strategically placed to block our path.

The first was a fence made of fish net. It was latched to the left with Velcro, so I simply opened it and pushed it aside so the other 40 or so passengers could follow me back to the bus.

The second obstacle was not so easy. I yanked hard on the handle, but it was either stuck or locked in some way.  But since the second fence was only about 36 inches high, I decided to just step over it.  This was not as easy for me as it might have been twenty years ago, but I made it over in one piece.

I’m happy to report that the remainder of our trip back to the ship went smoothly, which, of course, brings my story to its happy conclusion.

I believe I’ve mentioned how much the ocean swells rocked the ship on the last two days of our cruise.  But Daveen and I have solved that problem in advance.  Our next cruise is on the Ohio River from St. Louis to Philadelphia, where we expect calm waters.

Maybe we’ll revisit the Elvis movie on our next cruise. Meanwhile, if you really need to get somewhere – I encourage you to remove or step over any obstacle in your path.

And I won’t tell anyone if you occasionally ignore a sign.

Alan

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the last time it snowed in Los Angeles.  A journalist friend, whom I trust, responded that the snow fell in 1949, not 1952.  So that calls for, if not a retraction, at least a caveat – do not trust me to be entirely accurate in this blog other than about my own thoughts and feelings.  I have always been semi-allergic to researching details because I find any project that takes more than three minutes has the potential to become seriously boring, and at my age I want to be amused, not bored.  Actually, that was true for me when I was younger as well.

During the past week the formerly good (but now, sadly, not so great) ship Viking Mars has suffered the indignity of being refused entry to one port because a freighter is stuck at the dock that was destined for us.  Also, one of the engines isn’t working (on a ship fewer than six months old), so we are headed directly to Melbourne for repairs rather than to Hobart in Tasmania.  Hobart promised to be a lot more interesting.

Also, the ship has run out of eggs – I kid you not!  So, no scrambled eggs for me this morning.

By the time you read this Daveen and I should be back home.  I have found that the best part of any vacation is walking into my bedroom at the end of my travels.  Home is where there are no stuck freighters or malfunctioning engines, and always . . . plenty of eggs.

A few days ago I began to write my rememoirs (I hope I am the first author to use that word).  I intend my rememoirs to be a humorous, perhaps touching, account of my first 83 years of adventures on this earth, or, as Heinlein wrote, in this strange land.  Memoirs are, presumably, what actually happened.  A rememior is what you remember happened.  The two are seldom identical.

Well, it’s almost time for an eggless breakfast (Oatmeal, anyone?).  The ship is rocking and Daveen has been in bed for almost an entire day. But I am reading another excellent book — Chancellor, a biography about Angela Merkel who was the outstanding, but not perfect, former Chancellor of Germany.

One of her guiding principles, for both herself and her country, is that you can’t do it alone.  I heartily second that idea and I’m grateful for everyone in my life who has helped me There are, and have been, many.

I’m looking forward to whipping up some scrambled eggs at home.

Alan

One of my favorite activities when I’m on vacation is to read.  On this trip I brought along two books by Bill Bryson, an American-British journalist and author.  Both books were national bestsellers.

The first book, At Home, is a marvelous read – all 532 pages.  If you are at all interested in British history, I recommend that you put it high on your list of books to read.  In fact, I’d make the same recommendation even if you don’t care a bit about history – British or otherwise. Bryson is a masterful storyteller.

The second book, One Summer—America 1927, is also narrative nonfiction that is both informative and highly entertaining.  It’s filled with amusing anecdotes and a fascinating cast of characters. I laughed out loud when I read this about Babe Ruth:

Babe Ruth was driving a car in New York one afternoon and was pulled over by a traffic cop.

“This is a one way street,” the cop said.

Ruth replied, “I was only driving one way.”

I don’t read many books that change the way I think about life, but each of these books qualifies.  For example, here is a particularly insightful passage on the impact of American movies around the world:

“Moviegoers around the world suddenly found themselves exposed, often for the first time, to American voices, American vocabulary, American cadence and pronunciation and word order…The psychological effect of this, particularly on the young, can hardly be overstated.  With American speech came American thoughts, American attitudes, American humor and sensibilities.  Peacefully, by accident, and almost unnoticed, America had just taken over the world.”

Enough said.  I hope you’ll have the opportunity to read each book.

Daveen and I are traveling on the new Viking ship Mars.  We love the ship and, perhaps unfortunately (for my waistline), the food is outstanding.

I’ve thought for many years that today is the best time in history to be alive, and the best place to live is in the United States.  Of course, I haven’t had the opportunity to live elsewhere, and who knows what the next century may offer. It could be even better. But I’m a practical guy.  Apologies to Daveen, but why not love the one you’re with?

I love all of you as well, but now I’m off to dinner.

Alan