Alan Fox

One evening when I was thirteen, I spent three hours rapt on a seat next to my mother in the last row of the gallery in the old Philharmonic Auditorium in downtown Los Angles. The Auditorium was located directly north of what is now the underground parking lot of Pershing Square. While the theater is long gone, my memory of that evening remains, because at that memorable performance, an enduring love of musical theater blossomed inside me.

I had been at the birthday party of my friend, Carol Sumner, when my mother arrived unexpectedly early to pick me up

“Your dad and I have tickets to a musical tonight, and he has to work, so I’m going to go with you,” she said.

I didn’t know what “a musical” was, but I did know I was going to miss a helping or two of birthday cake and ice cream, so it had better be good.

My father was thrifty.  Our seats seemed to be a football field away from the stage, but my vision and hearing were fine then.  (“You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.”)  I remember how my dad always decried the fact that the Sumners bought expensive seats in the Orchestra section.  Of course, later in life, he never complained when I treated him to the front row.

The “musical” that evening, more than fifty years ago, was the traveling production of South Pacific.  The stars were Mary Martin and Ezio Pinza.  I still sing some of the songs (to myself) today.  “Some Enchanted Evening” is one of the most romantic songs I’ve ever heard.  Another song, “There is Nothing like a Dame,” is a comic masterpiece.

A few years later my parents took my brother and me back to the Philharmonic for a production of another Rogers and Hammerstein classic, The King and I.  A few days ago while sheltering at home, I passed Daveen in the hallway and I remembered a happy song from The King and I, “Getting to Know You.”  I’ve printed the full lyrics below for your reading pleasure and here is a link to Julie Andrews singing this song on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MNANgFCYpk

If you’re sheltering with someone else, you’re probably getting to know more about one another, for better or for worse.  I won’t venture another opinion on that.  But I’m thinking that I’m also getting to know myself better, and that is pretty nice.

I’ve found that when I get tired of TV news I can turn it off, I don’t enjoy movies with hurtful relationships, and I’m reminded that a good book will hold my attention and distract me for hours.  Also, when I cook for myself, I eat better food (and smaller portions).

I hope you are enjoying being sheltered at home, either alone or together.  It’s still a beautiful day in the neighborhood (see last week’s blog).  More Irises bloom each morning, and today I picked a few low hanging lemons for my salmon salad.  I love the fragrance of lemon trees.

Keep positive, and keep safe.

Alan

LYRICS FROM THE SONG “GETTING TO KNOW YOU” FROM THE 1951 ROGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN MUSICAL

THE KING AND I

[Spoken] It’s a very ancient saying,

But a true and honest thought,

That if you become a teacher,

By your pupils you’ll be taught.

[Singing] As a teacher I’ve been learning —

You’ll forgive me if I boast —

And I’ve now become an expert,

On the subject I like most.

[Spoken] Getting to know you.

[Singing] Getting to know you,

Getting to know all about you.

Getting to like you,

Getting to hope you like me.

Getting to know you,

Putting it my way,

But nicely,

You are precisely,

My cup of tea.

[ANNA AND THE MOTHERS]

Getting to know you,

Getting to know all about you.

Getting to like you,

Getting to hope you like me.

Getting to know you,

Putting it my way,

But nicely,

You are precisely,

[ANNA]

My cup of tea.

[ALL]

Getting to know you,

Getting to feel free and easy

When I am with you,

Getting to know what to say

Haven’t you noticed

Suddenly I’m bright and breezy?

Because of all the beautiful and new

Things I’m learning about you

Day by day.

Getting to know you,

Getting to feel free and easy

When I am with you,

Getting to know what to say

Haven’t you noticed

Suddenly I’m bright and breezy?

Because of all the beautiful and new

Things I’m learning about you

Day .. by … day.

Last Sunday evening Daveen and I cuddled together as we watched the Tom Hanks movie (title above) about Mr. Rogers.  The movie tells the story of a cynical, angry journalist who is healed through the process of interviewing and writing an article about Mr. Rogers, the man who cast a long and uplifting shadow over millions of our most precious gifts, our children.

This story is a clarion call to love yourself and everyone you meet.  The message, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.  When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”

We can be open with each other.

Yesterday as we enjoyed a long walk around the neighborhood Daveen and I noticed that, indeed, it was a beautiful day.  The Los Angeles air is clearer than it has been for more than seventy years.  Flowers were springing up, and various hues of green delighted our eyes.  The leaves and branches of trees fluttered gently in a freshening breeze.

The Iris, Poppies, and Azaleas don’t know there is a plague throughout the land.  Ivy, grass, and trees are not privy to human concerns.  Clouds float above us, oblivious, just as they have for longer than we humans have been around to appreciate their beauty.

Perspective.  From a million light years away our planet is smaller than a speck, our continents and seas anonymous, and our very beings of little consequence.  I find that idea to be redeeming.

Do we face a human crisis?  Of course.

Are we properly concerned about food, jobs, and family?  Yes.

Do we need to take care of ourselves and others as best we can?  Absolutely.

As we move forward, let’s not only carry within us the love that we both contain and crave, but let’s also share it with one another. Let’s reveal how we feel without reservation or fear.  Isn’t it beautiful to be connected and know we aren’t alone?

The best part of our neighborhood is that everyone we passed, at a respectful distance, waved and greeted us.  While we might be confined to separate bodies, we all share the very same, beautiful, journey.

Indeed, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Love,

Alan

One month ago, on March 5, 2020, there were 15 confirmed COVID-19 cases in the United States. As I write this, one month later, there have been more than 330,000 confirmed cases and almost 10,000 deaths related to COVID-19.

As I have said for years, we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our reaction.  Let’s focus on making our reaction both calm and constructive.

Each night when I read a book before going to sleep my hands often become cold.  I asked my doctor about this and he said, “The same thing happens to me.  Don’t worry about it.”  So I stopped worrying about it.

The reason your hands freeze first, and not your elbows, chin, or thighs, is that the body retains heat in its core areas – the brain and the heart. Let’s use this as a metaphor to help us get through the next few months.  Let’s pay attention to our immediate core needs for food, medication, and shelter.  We don’t need to rush out and buy a new pair of shoes (and if we do there are plenty of online retailers).

This is a time to establish a positive perspective. We shouldn’t be thinking about permanent solutions to what will be a temporary problem.  The Spanish Flu epidemic of 2018 did not recur to any significant extent in following years.  (Did you know that in Spain it is known as “The French Flu”?)

Perspective.  Few people worry about SARS anymore.

Perspective.  When I was young my mother feared Polio and refused to let us use a public swimming pool. Polio was one of the most terrifying childhood illnesses. Today Polio has been eradicated from all but a few countries in the world.

Perspective. In the early 1950’s there were about 50 million cases of smallpox in the world each year.  How many people in the world have smallpox today?  That’s right.  Exactly none.

Perspective.  Sheltering in place will pass.  Your favorite restaurant will reopen.  Everyone, including me, will need a haircut.

I’ve enjoyed watching a little more TV, reading a few more books, and spending time in Daveen’s company.  I’ve noticed the air is unpolluted, and recent Southern California days have been beautiful.  I’m filled with pride and appreciation for every person who is working hard to find solutions at my company. I am grateful to be part of such a fantastic team.  Everyone, mostly working from home, has risen to the challenge and they have been wonderful.  That is an experience I might never have enjoyed otherwise.

I do not intend to minimize the immediate and scary situation. But as a close friend told me years ago, “I’ve worried about many things in my life, most of which have never happened.”

Best of all, I imagine my grandchildren telling stories to their children, twenty or fifty years from now, about how they stayed at home for six or eight weeks during early 2020, and got on their parents’ nerves.

Perspective.

Keep safe.

Alan