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The Trunk, and the Closet, Each Ate My Keys

 

I like to be efficient.  Mistakes are wasteful, so I have developed a number of rules for myself.  There is a very good reason for each rule, as I sometimes learn to my regret.

Many years ago I was in Beverly Hills and returned to my car with a large box which I wanted to put in the trunk.  This was before the age of remote controls which now open and close most everything.  I used my key to open the trunk.

My rule, of course, which I never break, is WHEN YOU OPEN THE TRUNK TO YOUR CAR NEVER PUT THE KEYS INSIDE.

I have a reason for that rule, and you know what that reason is.  This time, as I put my keys on the floor of the trunk, the smart voice inside my head said, “You’re breaking the rule.”  The stupid voice said, “It’s Okay.  You’ll remember and take the keys out before you . . . “

Slam!  I remembered my keys just as the descending trunk lid reached the point of no return.

I called the auto club.  Oops.  I had a model of car which they couldn’t break into.  My wife was at work in Burbank.  I called her.  She had the other set of keys.  It took her an hour and a half to arrive.

A few years later I was leaving for a two week vacation.  I didn’t want to carry my keys with me, but since other people would be in my house I hid my keys.  I hid them so well that I couldn’t find them when I returned.  I had to replace every single key at a high cost of both time and money.  Two years later I found those keys at the back of the high shelf in my closet, just a bit hidden from view.

What have I learned?

  1. My rules exist for good reason.  Follow them.
  2. Don’t put your car keys in the trunk of your car.  Ever.
  3. If you hide anything out of sight, write down its location.  I always forget the hiding place.
  4. If it’s important, keep duplicates nearby.  In plain view.

From age 45 to 47 it became more and more difficult for me to read anything.  I’m a guy, so I don’t ask for help as much as I might.  When I was squinting at letters and memos six hours a day I finally visited a doctor.  He said my eyesight was basically fine and suggested that I buy reading glasses.  I did.  Within two days I lost the glasses.

Today, if you looked, you would find reading glasses in my shirt pocket, my pants pocket, my wife’s purse, the bathroom, the kitchen table (two pairs – I sometimes walk off with one pair and I really like to read the morning newspaper), my desk (many pairs), my briefcase, my suitcase, and my car (not in the trunk).  My wife told me the other day that she has another pair in her car, just in case.

I write this blog on Sunday evenings.  In case inspiration fails, I have a long list of potential topics which I keep on a computer file.  I just scan the list, and voila!  A great title leaps out at me.

But not tonight.  You’ll never guess what happened to my computer file.  Neither can I.  From now on – duplicate files.

Alan

P. S.  Last Wednesday I completed my one minute video for People Tools.  It took six “takes,” and thirty minutes.  I should have it for you soon.

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I’d Rather Be Right Than President

So said Henry Clay, Sr. (1777-1852), a lawyer, politician and skilled orator who represented Kentucky in both the United States Senate and House of Representatives. He was also Secretary of State from 1825 to 1829.

The question in my mind is not whether I would rather be right than President, because who in their right mind would want to be President? (With due respect to Barack, George W., Bill, George H., etc.)

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