Category Archives

“I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
“And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
“And in short, I was afraid.” – T.S. Eliot The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

We live in a scary world.  You can die at any moment in an auto accident or from a heart attack. A friend of mine died two days after she fell and hit her head on the kitchen floor.

But death isn’t all we’re afraid of.  Many of us have fears about money or relationships, and all who are parents fear for the safety of their children.

Some of our fears are rational and demand we take precautions.  Every time someone leaves my house I remind them to drive carefully.

Many of our fears, however, are not based on logic.  My cousin Helen is afraid to fly.  She’s missed many family events because she refuses to board an airplane, despite the fact that since 2001 there have been only two deaths in the United States involving a major airline.  My cousin is delighted, however, to drive daily, even though riding in a car is far more dangerous than riding in an airplane.

Last week I attended a conference at Stanford University.  The keynote speaker was the photographer Platon.  He asked the question, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

This is not an easy question for me to answer.  Maybe I’m afraid I might discover something really scary, but I’ll give it a try.

1. I’m uncomfortable with “small talk.” It feels like a waste of time and I don’t think I’m good at it.  If I wasn’t afraid, I would initiate conversations that are serious and personal so I could connect with people on a deeper and more meaningful level.
2. I would work fewer hours at my office. I’m afraid that if I don’t work long hours everything here will go to you-know-where in the proverbial handbasket. (I have an excellent staff, and I’m not saying that my fear is rational.)
3. I would write a lot more than just my blog every week, but I’m afraid my further writing might fail to achieve the depth and wisdom I strive for.
4. I would read much more if I weren’t afraid of falling short on accomplishing a lot each day.

These are some of my bigger fears, but in thinking about what I’m afraid of I also realize that I’ve been the most successful in areas where I’m not afraid.  I’ve never been afraid of money, and I’ve done well in that area.  I’ve had many relationships and have learned to maintain only those which work for me, even though it’s painful to reject or be rejected.  I’ve also learned to be open and vulnerable and set aside my fear of being hurt.  I find that the more I put into a relationship the more I get out of it.

But, alas, not being afraid is easier said than done.  Platon’s keynote address was outstanding and I knew he deserved a standing ovation.  When he finished his speech I applauded with enthusiasm.  Yet before leaping to my feet I peeked around the room.  No one was standing.  I didn’t want be seen as a fool and I remained in my seat.

Yes, T.S., Eliot, “And in short, I was afraid.”

What would we all do if we weren’t afraid?  That’s easy.  We would live more truthful, eloquent, and fulfilling lives.

Alan

I’ve been running a successful business for fifty years.

My partner and I began our law practice in 1967 with one employee.

Eleanor was our receptionist/legal secretary/accountant.  She worked hard every single day and knew a lot more about how to run a law office than we did.  All of us worked twelve hours a day, six or seven days a week.

In 1968 I formed a real estate company which today owns and manages shopping centers throughout the United States.  We have offices in Los Angeles, Denver, Phoenix, and Kansas City.  We have more than forty employees.

Over the years I’ve hired hundreds of employees.  And, like our President-elect, I’ve also fired a few.  My business will only thrive when my employees do their job.  I am careful about who I hire.  I am even more careful in making sure that both my employees and I do what we were hired to do.

Every single day.

My receptionist answers the phone each day to keep communication open.  My tech expert maintains our computers every day.  My accounting staff produces the information our managers need.  Everyone contributes to our success.

But it’s not enough just to hire good people.

One week ago the American people hired Donald J. Trump to do a job.  His election was a surprise to many, but not to those who elected him, many of whom felt that previous politicians had failed to deliver on two promises – to provide stable jobs and affordable health care.  The movie Network captured this frustration in the memorable line, “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.”

But the point is not just to get mad.  The point is to get results – good jobs and affordable health care.

You get what you inspect, not what you expect, and it is now up to us to insist on performance.

Let’s not repeat the mistake of the past.  We have hired one president after another, one Congressman after another, one Senator after another, but have failed to hold them accountable on a daily basis.

Many of our elected representatives have been more concerned with protecting their own jobs than in providing jobs for us.  Many have spent more time fighting with each other than fighting for us.  Many have paid more attention to politics than they have to progress.

It’s not enough to hire a new cast of characters.  We need to take another step.  We need to ask President-elect Trump, and every other elected official in the land, the following question.  “What action, specifically, have you taken to help us today?”

We have to ask this question over and over from morning to night:

“What action, specifically, have you taken to help us today?”

“Do I have a job?  Do I have affordable health care?”  Those are your concerns every day of your life.  You have to insist that your concerns also be the concerns of every officeholder who represents you.

They won’t make it happen by magic.  You must insist on performance.  No more excuses.  No more political blah blah.  No more protecting their jobs at the expense of our own.

Donald, you’re hired and we’re watching you.

It’s time for you to go to work.

Alan

Every day I am besieged with requests.

“Dad, can I borrow your SUV to move some furniture?”

“Would you please donate $5.00 to (fill in the blank)?”

“Would you and your fiancé like to join us for dinner on Saturday evening?”

In order to simplify my life I have learned to classify each request into specific categories, and I’ve developed a logical process for each category based on my patterns and preferences.  Here are four examples.

1. Requests from family. My bias is always to say “yes” to a request from a family member, so that is where I start.  If my daughter asks for money for a new dress I’ll say “yes” (unless I have a good reason not to).  If my fiancé asks me to pick up half-and-half at the grocery store on my way home, my first thought is always “yes.”  After that, of course, I might remember that she drove me into work in the morning and I don’t have my car at the office.
2. Requests for a political or charitable donation. My bias is to say, “Maybe.”  Then I think about the specific recipient and often say “no.” If my answer is “yes,” I’ll determine the amount I’m comfortable donating.  If my answer is still a “maybe” then I’ll ask for additional time to consider the request, or for additional information. But when I remember that my “maybe” is a temporary “no” unless it becomes a “yes,” I’m tempted to change my “maybe” into a quick “no,” because then I won’t have to spend more time thinking about it.
3. Requests for a social or business appointment. My bias is “no,” since I would rather spend evenings at home and days at my desk dealing with emails or questions from coworkers.  Once I get past my initial “no,” however, I often end up at “yes, I’d be happy to.”
4. Requests to make an investment. First I look for reasons to say “yes.”  If I can’t find enough reasons for “yes” then my answer is “no.”  If my preliminary answer remains a “yes,” then I look for reasons to say “no.”  This process not only helps me find good investments with my “yes” test, it also helps me weed out losing investments with my “no” filter.  Of course, my investment system is not perfect.  Just look at my dismal record of stock investments.  (My process has worked far more successfully in real estate.)

When you think about all of the requests you receive each day – from your children, your life partner, or at work — you might find, as I have, that they fall into a few major categories.  Like me, you can save both time and brain power when you simplify your reply process based on your own personal patterns and preferences.

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

Alan