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On a Sunday morning many years ago, I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom when Scott, my teenage stepson, barged in.

“I don’t know if there’s anything wrong,” he said, “but the housekeeper just jumped into the swimming pool at the deep end, and now she’s at the bottom of the pool.”

It took me a few seconds to process that. Then, even though I was completely naked, I raced to the pool, dove in, and dragged the waterlogged woman to the side of the pool.

Meanwhile, Scott was on the phone with the 911 operator relaying instructions to my wife Susan on how to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

A few minutes later the ambulance arrived to take her to the emergency room.  Fortunately, she was okay.

But talk about a shock. Evidently, the housekeeper had decided not to take the day off, and Susan had loaned her a swimsuit.  But the housekeeper did not know how to swim, and for some reason jumped into the deep end of the pool anyway.

Before this experience I always assumed that adults knew their limitations, although I flashed back to an experience I had as a kid when I was walking through our kitchen to the dining room, carrying an open umbrella.

“What are you doing?”  Mom asked.

“This is my parachute.  I’m going to jump off the balcony.”

My mother’s face turned ashen, and she grabbed my umbrella.  “No, you’re not.”  She was seldom that firm.  But seven-year-olds are not known for their mature judgment.  I’m sure Mom saved me from death or injury many times.

The lesson I learned from the swimming pool incident was this – never take good judgment for granted.  People are always capable of doing things that defy all logic. Even on a languid Sunday morning.

Alan

Before I get to the punch line, I’ll share that when I was a child, the answer to that question was very easy for me. Back then, I thought my mother could solve all my problems. I also thought that she saved me from “stunting my growth” by refusing to let me drink coffee.

As a teenager, how to ask a girl for a date was one of my biggest problems. At that time, I was overweight and obnoxious — not exactly a dream date. (And I haven’t even mentioned pimples.) And yet, the only way to get a date was to ask, and face the risk of potential rejection, and the only one who could solve that problem– was me.

Somehow, I managed to survive those years, and was lucky enough to marry a very nice woman when we were both 21. For many years we helped solve each other’s problems, though at 84, that seems like a long time ago. Although we moved on to other marriages, we shared many years as co-parents, and still live only a few miles apart.

I’ve had many different doctors who’ve helped solve various health problems. The scariest was when I had to have emergency surgery after I developed a post-surgical infection in my neck.

When I formed ACF Property Management in 1968 I ran the company with twelve employees, eleven of whom were women. I thought that was a nice balance. I guess you could say I’ve always enjoyed being in the company of women. For my tenth birthday party, I invited ten girls and, at my mother’s insistence, one boy.

Over the years I have owned and managed hundreds of commercial real estate properties for more than five hundred investors, assisted by a loyal and reliable staff of 25 or 30 employees.

So what is the punch line?  One obvious answer might seem to be “me.”  After all, the problems were mine.  But nope. That answer would be incorrect.

I have not solved my own problems (to the extent they have been solved).

My problems have been solved in collaboration with many others. I am grateful, as we all should be, to the large team of people who have helped me through the years.

With special thanks to Nancy, problem-solver extraordinaire, who has helped to edit my blog since it began more than ten years ago, and to Zatesia who has posted my blog and a photo, even when Monday was a holiday.

And thanks to all of you for being a part of my life, for reading my blogs, and for being amongst those who might just help me solve my problems in the future.

Alan

According to a recent news story, only about half of the adult population in the United States is married.  Apparently, many people live together without any formal confirmation of their relationship.

I recall an evening early in my career when I was actively soliciting new investors.  One of my best investors was a doctor at Kaiser, and he’d arranged a meeting for me to introduce about 20 other Kaiser doctors to my commercial real estate investments.  As I recall, four or five ultimately became investors.

After my successful presentation I drove home. At that time, I was not married.  In fact, I was living by myself.   I wanted to share my success with someone, but, alas, there was no one at home with whom I could share my good news.  I felt the aloneness of the moment acutely and it dampened the joy I’d felt earlier.

I sometimes think of myself as a loner, but that’s not really accurate.  In business I don’t like voting partners. But, in fact, I enjoy being a member of two groups – my extended  family at home (all six of my children live in the Los Angeles area), and my “work” family at ACF. There are weeks when I spend more time with “my family” at the office than I do at home with my wife and kids and grandchildren.

I have read that many older people, mostly men living alone, can go for weeks without talking to another human being.  That seems terribly sad to me.

I believe that most of us enjoy our lives more when we are able to share our successes, and commiserate about our failures, with a close friend or family.  So, here’s a toast to those who are fortunate enough to have relationships that we enjoy, and one in which we also find support. And here’s a reminder to those who aren’t so lucky – it’s never too late to establish new friendships. They might be the best investments you’ll ever make.

Alan

P. S. Daveen and I were first married almost 50 years ago. We’ve been living together again for several years now.  But we are officially getting married again in September.  How’s that for romance!