Change Gently
Years ago, when I was studying Counselor Education, I learned that more than two major life changes within a 12-month period could contribute to a higher probability of sickness or death. A major life change included marriage, divorce, loss of a job, and death of a spouse or family member.
Obviously, some of those changes, such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job, might be beyond your control. But others, such as moving or getting married, might well be something you can control.
I have always taken this advice seriously, and to the extent I can control any major life changes I try to space them out over time. (Although I must admit that my third marriage lasted for fewer than 13 months, contentious throughout. But that was five years ago, and I have now recovered).
I’ve enjoyed performing the same job (president of ACF Property Management, Inc.) for more than fifty years. In that entire span of time I’ve only worked in three different office locations. I have also lived in the same general neighborhood in Sherman Oaks/Studio City for more than fifty years. No major life changes there!
In a few months Daveen and I plan to move to a new house – one with no stairs. That is the only “big” change we have scheduled for this year, so our marriage must be safe until at least 2024. (Just kidding, Daveen.)
There is a book by Thomas Wolfe, called You Can’t Go Home Again (which inspired the familiar saying). Yesterday Daveen and I drove by the house we had lived in together for more than 35 years. There was a “Demolition” sign on the front gate, all the grass had turned brown, and there were weeds poking up between cracks in the asphalt. I was dismayed to see my former house, like a dear old friend, in such a state of disrepair. I won’t be going back to see it again. Some life changes just aren’t worth revisiting.
But now it’s time to turn my attention to more immediate matters – like rooting for the Los Angeles Lakers tonight in the first game of their NBA playoff series against Golden State.
Go Lakers!
Alan