Connection

For the past several years, I’ve made it a point to walk 4,000 steps every day.  That’s about two miles.  I walk so that, as I continue to age, I can continue to walk.  Somehow that feels like a snake consuming its own tail.  But enough philosophy.

This morning I was walking along Ventura Boulevard, a main street in the San Fernando Valley.  I passed five other pedestrians walking in the opposite direction.  I smiled at each and tried to make eye contact.

Most avoided me.  I did catch the eye of one woman, and we smiled at one another for a moment as we passed.  One walk, one (brief) connection.  Four nonconnections.

The U. S. Surgeon General announced last week that more than half the people in the United States suffer from loneliness, at least some of the time.  Several months ago, I read a report that single older men in Japan often live alone.  They don’t go out, and no one visits them.  That is a serious problem.  But it can be solved.

My father died several years ago at the age of 104.  When he was 80 years old, he complained to me that his grandchildren never called him.

“Dad,” I said, “telephones work both ways.  You can call them.”

To my surprise, he did.  As a result, they began to visit him more often, and he started going to watch his grandson’s ice-skating lessons.  Connections work both ways.

As in many marriages, the social scheduling had been handled by my mother, so after she died, I applaud Dad for successfully taking over that role for himself.  Despite his age, Dad remained connected to many people.

He loved to attend plays.  Once, when he was 100, and feeling under the weather, he told me that he wanted to go to the performance anyway.  “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in the living room,” he said, as we pushed his wheelchair into the theater.

I hope others are reaching out to you, or you are reaching out to them, and I hope you are enjoying a fulfilling sense of connection in your life.

Connecting with others isn’t just for fun, it’s what makes our lives meaningful. I encourage you to focus on it.

Alan