When I was eighteen I depleted my entire savings to buy my first new car – a metallic blue VW Bug.  It was an economy car, lacking amenities such as a fuel gauge.

As I recall, the fuel tank held 12 gallons.  When there were only 1-1/2 gallons left the engine would sputter to a stop, which meant I had to turn a black handle near the gas pedal to access the remaining fuel.  Every time I turned that handle I vowed to stop at the next gas station.  Sometimes, though, portable gas tank in hand, I had to walk.

Many of us, myself included, are feeling that COVID-19 has depleted our emotional fuel tank.  There is so much to worry about these days. How can we celebrate the holidays with family?  What if everyone isn’t being careful?  Will it be warm enough to eat outside?

The biggest difference between my VW running out of gas when I was eighteen, and my emotional tank running low today, is that refueling our hearts is never as simple as refueling a car.

In each situation we have to first be aware that we’re running near empty. I’ve learned to pay attention to my body for emotional cues.  Am I feeling low energy? Have I lost interest in activities I usually enjoy?

Next, we need to know what solutions might work best for us.  Where is the nearest filling station for your psyche? For each of us the answer will vary.

For me – it might be as near as my mind – giving myself positive messages.  I know I always feel better when I tell myself, “You’re going to have a great day,” rather than, “I hope today isn’t as bad as yesterday.”

I also avoid what I call “The Coloring Book Effect.”  This means that when I’m in a great mood every color seems bright.  But when I’m feeling low everything seems dark — until I’m able to separate the positive emotional wheat from the negative emotional chaff.  When this happens, I can remind myself that life is never all good or all bad.  It’s a mixture of light and dark.

I also know that I feel better when I’m physically active, so I’ve been walking a lot.

Finally, I find that helping others helps me.  I always feel better when I’m caring for someone else.

When you feel depleted I encourage you to find your own way of refueling. Whether it’s baking bread or reading or spending time with family (or your cat), each of us needs to identify those activities that will help us recharge emotionally.

My VW Bug rests somewhere on the scrap heap of history.  I now drive a Tesla, and refueling is just one electrical outlet away.

Safe travels, physically and emotionally.

Alan

This year, Daveen and I postponed our summer vacation because of concerns about COVID-19. Finally, in late October, we treated ourselves to a log cabin near Yosemite for three nights.  Our trip didn’t work out quite as planned.

After a four-hour drive we arrived at Sierra Meadows, Cabin 13, around five pm on Sunday.  When Daveen parked her car I noticed fluid leaking from the radiator onto the asphalt.

A message on the dashboard warned that there was no coolant and the car couldn’t be driven for more than another two minutes.

As it turned out, there was a crack in the radiator.

The silver lining is that we were able to have the car towed to the dealership in Fresno, about an hour away.  Fortunately, one of our daughters had driven up to join us, so we could all use her car for the next few days, and the dealership said Daveen’s car would be ready for pick-up early Wednesday morning, just in time for our return to Los Angeles.

As Daveen was calling for the tow truck we received the following email from Sierra Meadows.

“Pacific Gas and Electric is concerned about the prediction of high winds in the area, and needs to check out its power lines.  Electricity will be shut off for forty hours, beginning at 7:00 pm.”

“Forty hours?” I thought.  Must be a typo.  I laughed.

At 7:09 pm I stopped laughing when our cabin lights blinked out and it was suddenly midnight.  Fortunately, we’d already finished dinner in our daughter’s cabin next door, so it was a quick bedtime for everyone.

Thoughtfully, Sierra Meadows had provided a flashlight.  I wondered how often they had a problem with the power going out.

The silver lining is that the cabin was still warm and the bedroom was small.  Daveen and I were reasonably cozy that first night.

Of course, since there was no electricity for thirty miles around, the only way to charge electronic devices was to plug them into the outlet in our daughter’s car.  Three people, six devices, and slow charging.  Thank you, PG&E.

On Monday we huddled together in bed until mid-morning, then ate a cold breakfast and charged our electronics.  When I put on my hiking boots, which I hadn’t touched in more than ten years, both soles immediately split wide open.  (See photo.)  So much for hiking.

Did I mention that the cabin heater was electric? On Monday night the cabin was ice cold.

The silver lining was . . . I’m really good at finding silver linings, but I’m having trouble here.  If we wanted to camp out we wouldn’t have rented a heated cabin.  The best I can do is report that the electricity was finally restored on Tuesday morning, after only thirty-nine hours.

Our next several vacations will be at home where heat and light are more reliable.

And while I’m not superstitious, and I’m sure that Sierra Meadows is a very nice place when it actually has electricity, in the future I will avoid Cabin 13.

Cheers.

Alan

Whenever I ask myself, “What is worth doing today,” one idea that always ends up high on my list is, “Add value.”

The concept of adding value is simply this: each day, leave the world a better place than you found it.  Adding value feels good, even if you never receive credit – especially if you never receive credit.  Adding value is the point, not recognition.

Every morning when I walk to my office from the parking garage I take the long route, which is more than half a mile.  I always notice cigarette butts and, nowadays, discarded surgical masks along the street.  Recently, despite COVID-19, I’ve started to pick up the trash and discard it in the receptacles that the City of Los Angeles has thoughtfully placed along Ventura Boulevard.  I like to walk on a street that is free of debris.

I also add value in my business by dealing immediately with emails (at least that’s my goal).  I aim to look at an email once, answer it, delete it, or forward it to someone who can answer it for me or who might find it helpful.  One silver lining from COVID-19 is that I receive fewer emails. Right now there are fewer than fifteen from the past month that I still need to answer.

As we continue to live through the pandemic, it often feels more difficult to help ourselves, let alone others.  But it’s also more urgent.  We are all facing these times of danger and uncertainty together, which is why our children, friends, and family need our support now more than ever, just as we need theirs.  I sometimes joke that, “If it were easy I would do it myself.”

Of course, the first rule of adding value is to take care of yourself.  If you are finding it difficult to function, do what you need to do for yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask others for help.  You can’t take proper care of yourself, or anyone else, if you’re sitting in a corner staring at the walls. Reach out to someone you trust for support.

I hope that no matter how difficult these times might be that we will all continue to initiate kindness.  A “thank you,” to acknowledge the generous act of a stranger, or offering someone a helping hand is inspiring.  During the past three months I’ve received more than the usual number of gracious emails, and each one brightens my day.

Thank you for reading my blog.  We can do this.

Add value.

Alan