Should you “try, try, again”?

Conventional wisdom says “yes.”  I say, “Trying again is just one option.  There are others.”

First I should mention that I regard any conclusion I reach in my life as a working hypothesis. For example, I believe that Los Angeles, where I was born, is the best city in the world for me to stay. That’s why I’m still here.  But I’m open to the idea that my rock-solid conclusion, which I have acted on for seventy-eight years, is subject to review and change.

Circumstances change.  Our abilities change.  Our understanding of our lives can change as well.  Maybe a conclusion reached many years ago (“I’ll never talk to that neighbor again”) was inappropriate in the first place.  To find and live the best possible life we must always be open to changing our conclusions.  I’m sure of that.  (Ha ha.)

During the past fifty years I have syndicated and managed commercial real estate.  I have many loyal investors, and we have purchased and sold hundreds of properties.  When I present an investment to a potential investor I seldom “try, try again.”

Years ago I offered an investment to a gentleman referred to me by my friend Gary.  When the gentleman said he had decided to invest, I prepared and mailed out a contract.  One week later I contacted him to confirm that he had received it.  He said that he had, and would sign and return it immediately, together with his check.

After three weeks I still hadn’t received anything from him,   I finally asked that he either return or destroy the documents in his possession.

Several months later Gary asked me to offer a second investment to the same gentleman.

I said, “Gary, it’s my policy not to do that.  If someone agrees to invest and asks for a contract, then doesn’t perform, it is unlikely that they will perform the second time.”  (See my book People Tools, Chapter 7, “Patterns Persist”.)

“Alan, this man has referred many investors to me.  I’m sure he will invest with you this time.  As a favor to me, please send him a contract.”

I did.  But his pattern persisted.  No investment.

Sometimes it is appropriate to try once, and then stop trying. Or try someone else or something different.

I once met a potential investor in her apartment in Marina del Rey.  She was a practicing attorney. As we talked she began to tell me about all of the litigation she was involved in.  She was suing various people, and many people were suing her.

She pestered me for more than two years, but I never sent her any investment information.  I didn’t want to be next victim on her litigation list.

Sometimes it’s better not to try at all.

And sometimes it’s best to end writing a blog while your reader is still interested.  I remember the show biz adage, “Leave ‘em wanting more.”

Thanks.

Alan

We’ve all heard it said, “Money can’t buy happiness.”  But I’ve also heard it said that, “Money is way ahead of whatever is in second place.”

I’ve been in business for more than fifty years. Had you asked me during my first ten years, “what is the goal of your business?” I would have answered, “profit.” Back then my goal was profit, pure and simple.

Over the next forty years, however, my views have gradually changed.  I’ve met many people who have focused their lives on the pursuit of profit, and they are not happy.

I’d like to ask each of them the question, “How much is enough?” But I think their answer would probably be, “More.”  I respectfully disagree.

Recently the CEO of a company with more than six trillion dollars under management wrote a letter to the top executive of all of the companies in which they had invested, advising them that they would be evaluated not just on their profits, but also on their contribution to their communities. He made it clear that those companies would do well (in terms of profits) if they were also doing good (helping their communities).

I would take that a bit farther.

I think it’s also a very good business idea to take care of your employees.  After all, they are the folks who show up every day and handle your business.  Without them you would be kaput   If employees feel treated badly, at best they will be less productive and at worst they will quit.  Most businesses seriously underestimate the cost of finding, hiring, and training replacements.

This is why I try to show appreciation by buying lunch, giving bonuses from time to time, and offering “personal” days off.

But even if you don’t own your own business, I still believe that you can enhance your life by taking care of yourself and those around you. Spend more time with your families, take a bit more vacation every year, enjoy sitting down to dinner with your children or loved ones most days, and spend much of your weekends with them engaging in shared activities that bring happiness into your lives. These activities ultimately matter more than profit.

I would write more, but one of my sons has asked for more of my time, and I’m off to have lunch with him.

Alan

Shortly after I opened my law office more than fifty years ago I bought a carved oak bookcase that I treasured.  It remained in my offices until last week.

Times change. When we moved to a new building fifteen years ago my lovely bookcase didn’t fit into my personal office at work, and its style didn’t fit in with the décor of our home.  So I moved it to Ed’s office where I enjoyed seeing it once or twice a week.

Now Ed has become a consultant, which means he’s semi-retired while I am not.  Is there something wrong with this picture?  I don’t think so, because I enjoy working and keeping my mind sharp (assuming it was sharp in the first place).  We have hired four new employees to start work next month, so we have to convert Ed’s former office into a space that will serve the needs of two people. This means we no longer have room for my oak bookcase.

My typical solution is: “put it into storage.”  But by this stage of my life I have proven over and over again that storage for me is like the Roach Motel.  What goes in never comes out.  Over the years I have paid thousands of dollars in storage fees, after which I have paid thousands of dollars to get rid of sofas, tables, chairs, lamps, and cheap or broken works of art.

My other solution is to sell.  But I remembered when I purchased the bookcase my friend Jim had also liked it.  If I remember correctly, I saw it first and kept it for myself.

So when the movers asked, “Where do you want the bookcase to go?” I thought of Jim.  Now, fifty years later, he is still a valued consultant to my business and places all of our new loans.  Jim has a lovely home filled with books and art.  I thought my bookcase more belonged with him than in a rented storage unit or sold off to someone I didn’t know.

“Deliver it to Jim,” I said, with only a slight hesitation in my voice.

I learned long ago to reserve my love for people, not things. I briefly considered offering the cabinet to Jim only if he paid for the delivery charge.  After all, he lives some distance from my office.  But my father told me years ago that if you treat someone to dinner you should cover the tip as well.  In other words, take care of everything.

Last week I received the following text from Jim:  “They delivered the bookcase today.  It is beautiful and I have admired it for forty years.  Thank you so much.  It is without doubt the best gift I ever got for somebody else’s birthday!”

This blog is about a gift.  Not the gift of the bookcase.  This blog is about the gift Jim and I have given to each other, and is our friendship of more than forty years.

Each day is the date of our rebirth.  It is the best day to enjoy the fresh breeze in your face, and the most precious gift of all — friendship.

Love,

Alan