Most of us love to celebrate important milestones. I remember the party for my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary and my father’s 100^th birthday celebration.  Sadly, I don’t remember my own 80^th birthday party to be held in March, 2020 because it never happened.  I had to cancel four days before the party. The next day the NBA postponed its season, and shortly after that the entire state of California went into lockdown due to COVID-19.

Last week Daveen reminded me that March 22^nd would be our fortieth wedding anniversary.  (She also remembers the birth date of everyone on the planet.)

Daveen was, of course, correct – it’s been forty years!  If you follow my blog you will have read about many of our adventures together (and you can find all of my blogs at peopletoolsbook.com).  While this year we weren’t able to commemorate the occasion with a public gathering, we still enjoyed our own private celebration.

I’m delighted that Daveen and I been together for most of our lives. Like many young couples, we liked the thought of growing older together.  Not that we are old – that standard is a moving target – but we are getting closer.

Growing older together.  Is the reality of this as romantic as it seemed the day we were married?  Absolutely.  I love our many shared experiences and being able to communicate in shorthand. While others might not know what I’m referring to when I mention our return from Iceland, Daveen knows exactly what that means.  (Helpful hint: don’t pack your prescription drugs in a single bottle, like I did, when crossing an international border.  We met a few Customs officers who love to confiscate unlabeled pills.  Especially painkillers.)

Sharing lives, both the joys and the sorrows, with the same partner for more than forty years is comforting. By now we have worked out most of the “bugs,” and neither of us is going anywhere.

At 11:30 pm on March 22, 1981, I carried Daveen over the threshold of our room at the Pierpont Inn after a full wedding day. I was so happy I didn’t notice that the flowers I’d ordered to surprise her had never been delivered to our room (they were still in the hotel office). As you might imagine, even without the flowers, it was a wonderful night.

Happy birthdays and anniversaries to all!

Alan

P.S. The Pierpont Inn refunded $50.00 to me for the flowers.

When I drove home from work recently the road I normally take was closed for repairs.  I took a detour that added about 30 seconds to my drive.

The world is filled with literal roadblocks where there is no option but to find an alternate route.  But sometimes life’s metaphorical roadblocks — psychological or financial — can be more subtle, and more challenging.

Years ago I read an article in the Wall Street Journal describing the ten most important rules of money.  The author’s first rule was:  “Don’t run out of money.”  His last rule was also, “Don’t run out of money.”  The other eight rules, he said, were not nearly as important.

To avoid breaking the first and last rule of money, different people might use different routes.  Diana, a friend of mine, kept a list of all her regular monthly expenses such as food and housing, and a second list of all her extraordinary expenses such as a down payment on a house or a long vacation.  She explained to me, “I collect everything due to me on time, and I pay all of my bills on time.  I also keep enough money in an emergency fund to cover unpredictable expenses.”  In this way she was able to navigate around unforeseen financial roadblocks.

Psychological roadblocks can also be a challenge to predict, plan for, and overcome.

My mother hated to drive.  She was eager for me to get my own driver’s license so that I could be her chauffeur.  I liked to drive, and was delighted to help out. Otherwise, I faced roadblock of my own – parental permission to use the car. Running errands for my mother was a way around both of our problems. I would often ask, “Do you need anything from the store, Mom?” I was happy to be the solution to my mother’s psychological roadblock because it helped me overcome my own financial ones (not having a car or money for gas).

The COVID-19 pandemic has now stretched out for more than a year, and has created a number of roadblocks for everyone.  We’ve adapted our lives to allow for social distancing. At last, many grandparents have been vaccinated and can resume the simple pleasure of hugging their grandchildren.

Soon we might be able to travel and gather with friends and family again without fear of spreading a deadly illness.

We know that our world is filled with unpredictable roadblocks.

Fortunately, it is also filled with many roads as well as alternate routes, some that might be even more scenic than the route we had originally planned.

Alan

We’ve all heard about modern pirates roaming the Indian Ocean off the eastern shore of Somalia.  We’ve also visited the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at every Disney theme park.  Are there any other pirates in the world that we should try to avoid?

You bet!  An invisible Jolly Roger waves in every nook and cranny of our fair land.  I’ve read that employers steal billions from workers paychecks every year, with 17% of low-wage workers cheated out of their minimum wage pay. Scammers swindle older Americans out of another $3 billion a year.

I have known two pirates personally.  I’ll call one Bill (because that is what he did), and the other Paul (because he turned out to be appalling).

Bill was a rare coin dealer.  He walked the plank right out of my life several years ago. One of my sons said to me, “Dad, this guy is selling you all kinds of jewelry and other stuff, claiming that his prices are lower than wholesale.  Why don’t you check that out?”

We hired an appraiser.  My son was right.  Every item was significantly overpriced.

I also cut Paul adrift.  He was an outstanding salesman, but became greedy, taking more and more of the treasure for himself.  Ultimately his pirate ship sank in deep water, and Pirate Paul and his crew are now at the bottom of the sea.  At least metaphorically.  In real life they are fighting lawsuits.

But the pirate life of Bill and Paul is trivial when compared to the losses I’ve incurred from the swashbuckling pirates of Wall Street.

For one example, a few years ago Toys R Us filed for bankruptcy and vacated several of our shopping centers.  Were they losing money in the toy business?  Not at all.  That business was profitable.  But in taking Toys R Us private, and then public again, Wall Street saddled the company with $500,000,000 in annual loan payments, a burden Toys R Us simply couldn’t pay.

The Pirates of Wall Street grasped the gold.  The public was left with a vacant casket and a mortgage.

Take a look at any American flag.  Can you see a faint Jolly Roger waving at you right beside it?

Avast ye scurvy dogs!

Alan