If Socrates were an answer on Jeopardy, “know thyself” might be the question.
Actually maxim “know thyself” was already established wisdom long before Socrates used it. In Egypt the ancient temple of Luxor bore the inscription “Man, know thyself . . . and thou shalt know the gods.”
I trust words of wisdom, which for more than two thousand years have survived war, famine, and literary critics. In fact, of all the People Tools that I use in my life, Socrates’ “Know Thyself” tops the list.
You have to know yourself—your likes, dislikes, abilities, disabilities, experiences, and goals—in order to decide what other tools to use in your life, just as a carpenter has to know his project in order to select the appropriate saw. He or she would use different tools to produce a door than to construct a piano.
My mother visited museums in every city she traveled to. My father preferred to sit in a motel room and watch TV. One day, my father asked my mother if she would like to visit a local museum with him. Startled by his sudden interest, she agreed. Together they spent several hours viewing the exhibits.
Later, in their motel room, my father said that he hoped she had enjoyed herself because he did it to please her. My mother said that she was tired, but because she thought that he was interested in that specific museum she had actually endured the visit for him. Both my mother and father ended up at a museum that neither of them wanted to see.
When you know and express yourself accurately you will seldom suffer through activities you don’t like.
Each of us is unique. Your needs, life experience, and resources are different from mine, so we each start from a different place. It makes sense that often your choice of tools will be different from mine, which means that Socrates is the single tool which each of us needs to enable us to effectively rummage in our tool box. You have to know who you are, what you like, and what you dislike.
I used to believe that intelligence was a single global concept which could be reduced to a single number called “IQ.” What could be simpler than the idea that a person who tests at 150 is “smarter” than a person who tests at 110? But I always wondered why people with a high IQ make so many dumb mistakes while those with a lower IQ perform quite well in many situations. The explanation to this seeming inconsistency was published a number of years ago by the outstanding educator Howard Gardner, who, in his book Frames of Mind, concluded that there are seven distinct varieties of intelligence which he identified as:
- Linguistic.
- Musical.
- Logical/mathematical.
- Spatial.
- Bodily/kinesthetic.
- Intrapersonal knowledge.
- Interpersonal relationships.
“Aha,” I thought as I read his chapters. I remembered Pam, an undergraduate at UCLA, who was a genius in social situations, even though her grades barely hovered above a “C.” I have always been comfortable with numbers and in exploring my own internal process, but I completely blank out when I face a foreign language or, heaven forbid, when my car won’t start.
How can you know yourself?
First, take a look at your tendencies and actions (aka Belt Buckle). My personal trainer works out with four or five clients a day, and in the evening visits the gym for his own workout. I would rather sit. I like to eat, often more than I need. My friend Jim has to think about when he last ate before he knows whether or not he wants to join me for lunch. I hate to offend people. The character Archie Bunker on the long-running TV show All in the Family didn’t mind offending everyone.
Next, think of previous experiences. What did you do? How did you decide? Did you like or dislike the result? Patterns Persist, but if your previous decision-making is flawed in a given area you must be aware of that so you can change it. Have someone else make the decision. Whenever I come to National Boulevard in West Los Angeles I always turn the wrong way. I’m very consistent about that. Now I ask my iPhone which way to turn.
Get help in discovering yourself. Ask friends how they really see you. Take a class, hire a therapist, read a self-help book. Oh, yes, you are.
Know thyself. Then believe what you know, and act on it.
Alan
My mother used to tell me that when I was two years old my favorite statement to her was, “No I not.”
I like the emotional oasis in which my dad has lived for many years. Isn’t this the sanctuary to which all of us should aspire? A home where each of us can, at very long last, rest, at peace with ourselves and others, where we can relax into a well-earned respite from fighting all of the wars which we have waged, and raged, to finally become the master of our own emotions and destiny.
