People ToolsA Blog By Alan C. Fox
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Alan C. FoxAuthor. Entrepreneur. Game-changer.
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The Top Ten Things That I Enjoy

by Alan Fox 6 Comments

Alan-IceCream-Top10ThingsI find that I am often thinking or writing about how to improve my life, how to perform a task better, or how to avoid a problem.  Today I’d rather just write about the top ten things I enjoy in my life – in other words, what reliably transforms my mood to happy.  I list these in no particular order, because each of them brings a smile to my face, for a shorter or longer period of time, and happy is happy.  There is no eighty percent or eighty-five percent about it.

  1. Chocolate ice cream. Enough said.
  2. An orange sunset, with clouds.
  3. Good news. Of course, my happiness lasts about as long as my happiness from that dish of chocolate ice cream.
  4. Making love.
  5. Cuddling.
  6. A movie or play that is deeply moving such as Million Dollar Baby.
  7. A kind note from a reader.
  8. Connecting with someone face to face in a personal conversation.
  9. The three battery-operated but real looking candles in my bedroom, which turn themselves on at 8:00 pm each night.
  10. Money in the bank.

Happiness-PeopleTools-2Goodness!  Just writing about what makes me happy brings me happiness, so I’ll add one more – being with young children who are excited and happy.

What are your top ten?  Or five?  Or twenty?  Let me know, and I’ll share reader responses in a future blog.

I wish you a happy Tuesday.

Alan

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The Dream Is Free. The Hustle Is Sold Separately.

by Alan Fox 6 Comments

Dream-cloud-peopletools1As the man in front of me ordered his hamburger, I read the words on the back of his T-shirt.  “The Dream is Free.  The Hustle is Sold Separately.”

When I was a kid I had a dream of finding one product, placing an ad in a single magazine, selling more than $1,000,000 of my product, then retiring on my profit at age twenty.  The dream was free.  As it turns out, the hustle was missing.

In my teens I had the dream of being a better writer than Shakespeare.  Again, the dream was absolutely free. I also dreamed of becoming a concert pianist, winning the chess championship of the world, and of being elected president of the United States.  All were free. Then there was my dream of growing up, falling in love, getting married, and living happily ever after.

Dreams are hopeful, comforting, and the outline for a new reality.  All of us enjoy, or should enjoy, dreaming every day of our lives.  But we must realize that most of our dreams are born, and will live and languish, as fantasies.  A friend of mine once noted, “Dreams are extremely fragile outside the womb of the mind.”

One of my daughters dreamed of becoming an Olympic diver.  After her third lesson she announced, “I’m not going back.  The water is cold.”  As an adult she worked diligently for years to become a yoga teacher.

The restaurant chain Wendy’s televised a commercial years ago with the tag line, “Where’s the beef?”  Similarly, with respect to our dreams, we might ask ourselves, “Where’s the hustle?”

Which of your dreams have come true?  Which of your present dreams would you like to come true?  I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that many of your dreams can and will become real.  The bad news is that you will almost certainly have to personally add some hustle.

Those of my dreams which have come true each required effort over a period of many years.

Dream-hustle-peopletoolsIn my late twenties I began to invest in commercial real estate.  Success – the beginning of real success – was ten years away.   Twenty years ago I established the poetry journal Rattle.  Again, real success began after more than a decade of determination.  My wife and I founded The Frieda C. Fox Foundation in 1999.  Due to the efforts of our outstanding executive director, and dozens of family and non-family members, the foundation has become one of the leaders in youth philanthropy.  And our Junior Board, ages eight to seventeen, works persistently to help others, which is now not only our dream, but their dream as well.

I may be stating the obvious in telling you that it takes effort to get from here to there.  But it does.

And as for my dream of “living happily ever after,” which is part of my own fairytale that began, “Once upon a time,” I’m still working on it.  Few farmers plant seeds, walk away, and return to harvest an abundant crop.  Few relationships flourish without care, concern, and consistent attention.

The dreams are free.  And hustle is the not-so-secret sauce of making your dreams come true.

Alan

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Student Reflections on People Tools

by Alan C. Fox 0 Comments

Several Success in Degrees Student Reflections on Alan C. Fox’s “People Tools”

NYSubway-Peopletools

“As I opened the book on NYC subway, I was intrigued right from the beginning and fascinated by how much these small adjustments to myself could help me succeed in all of the relationships I have and hope to have. But what particularly impressed me were rules 9—The Picture: Function Over Form, and 32—Tip the Messenger. These two rules truly made me think in a different way, in large measure because I am a recovering perfectionist and am trying to take a different, happier, less exacting, and overall more forgiving (of myself and of others!) approach to life. I really enjoyed People Tools—it’s helping me become the person I want to be! “

Amiah, junior at Barnard College (studying at Spelman College this fall via the two schools’ Domestic Exchange Program), majoring in Sociology.

 

 “I really like “Fry Another Egg” because it is a reminder that we do not have to accept Medicalprogram-PeopleToolsthings for what they are all the time. Sometimes we have to shake things up and start from square one to really get to where we need to be. The story hits close to home because as an undergrad, I switched majors from Biology to Psychology after becoming discouraged. However, upon graduation I knew that I still ultimately wanted to become a Physician so I enrolled in a post baccalaureate program for Medicine. I am now currently applying to Physician Assistant school and am one step closer to my dream of working in the medical field. I think everyone can benefit from frying another egg, tomato, steak, or whatever fits their fancy. We should not allow ourselves to become complacent or comfortable. There is always room for improvement! “

Antonia, earned her BA at Dickinson College, just completed her Post-Bac/Pre-Med at Charles R. Drew University of Medicine, and is now applying Physician Assistant programs as she steadfastly pursues her ultimate goal of becoming a pediatrician.

 “Throughout my high school and college years, Deanne Scott, a valued mentor of mine, encouraged me to read more, both for personal pleasure and self-growth, as well as useful research for my entrepreneurial goals.  I now consume between 3-4 books a month and fight to find time to do still more research to help myself as well as to help my new business. When Deanne told me about  Alan C. Fox’s People Tools, I excitedly read it as well as his other business and relationship books.   Reading his books is like sitting on a comfy couch inside a cabin near the fireplace, with the starlight twinkling in and Alan C. Fox sharing real life stories on how we can become better people.

Letting people go from my business because of performance has always been difficult for me. People Tools has let me see the opportunity created by allowing two oppositions to pull in the direction they are meant to go.

Business requires extreme focus and strength in relationships. One relationship that is extremely important to me is my partner. She is someone I believe I can share my life with. Alan and his wife perform an exercise by which each person takes turns getting things off their chest. This is performed during separate times, so the opposing person is not allowed to rebut. They are only allowedconversationStarter-peopletools to listen to the information provided. During a stressful business night I told my partner about this exercise. I let her know that there were things that I needed to tell her. That night I cried about the stresses of a start-up business. I let her know the hurt I felt from firing my first employee. I shared with her all the ways I believed my business would change the world. Later that week, she opened up to me about the struggles of working for a big four consulting firm (PricewaterhouseCoopers), the difficulties of “busy season,” and she elaborated on the next necessary steps to see her own entrepreneurial ambitions come true. We understand each other. Our businesses will not hinder the strength of our relationship, they will only complement it. The exercise introduced to us by Mr. Fox has become very exciting for us.  The first time we tried it, it was it used to get sadness off our chests. The past several times have simply been used as a tool to express ideas and moments of joy. All relationships can improve with this method.

Gazing at the stars can make your mind race. Sitting by the fireplace will bring warmth into your life. A cozy couch while listening to words of wisdom will bring you joy and expose you to life’s secrets. The same can be said from reading Alan C. Fox’s People Tools. It has been a blessing to my life. ”

Emmanual earned his MBA from Hampton University in 2013 and, immediately following graduation, began working for PricewaterhouseCoopers in Washington, D.C.  Last Spring he took the bold and courageous move of leaving PwC and establishing Just Another Dreamer’s Dreams, a company that assists young entrepreneurs and is founded on the principle that anything is possible.  Emmanual also serves on Success in Degrees’ Advisory Board.

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