As those of you who follow my blog already know, my dad was a renowned teacher of musicianship.  That means whenever I practiced the piano, he felt compelled to interrupt.

I will always remember his frequent admonition, “Phrasing.  Color each phrase.  Make each phrase interesting.  Crescendo.  Diminuendo.  There are no throw-away phrases.  Pay attention to each one.”

My father’s advice on phrasing has become a metaphor for my life. It’s one I’ve written about before because it applies to so many different aspects of living well. Ultimately my father’s emphasis on phrasing was his way of encouraging me to pay attention to each moment.

This is especially important when driving.  I am thinking of this as during the past few weeks California has been inundated with rain. Many parts of the state have been flooded, and driving is hazardous. As I have told each of my six children since they were old enough to drive a car (and legally imperil both me and themselves), “Driving is the single most dangerous activity we engage in often.  If you daydream in class for an hour, your grade might suffer.  If you daydream while driving, even for a few seconds, you could be dead, or worse.”

My dire warnings seem to have worked for my children and also for me.  None of us have ever been involved in a serious auto accident.  In fact, the only three moderately serious auto accidents I’ve been in were each caused by the other driver who was in a hurry and not paying attention. Each turned left directly in front of me – without signaling.  Crash.  Thank goodness for mandatory seat belts, and the fact that I drive slowly and carefully, now more than ever.

So at the beginning of a new year let’s give a nod to my dad, who shared with me many really good ideas, and keep our lives, and the lives of others, both interesting and safe.

Better living through phrasing.

Alan

A number of years ago, I enjoyed my last trip to Venice. And I do mean my last.  Too many of their “merchants” turned out to be thieves.

Venice is noted for its beautiful art glass sculptures.  I purchased several for about $8,000, and delivery by air express was promised. But a month later, I still hadn’t received anything.

I telephoned the merchant, who suddenly had trouble understanding English (even though he understood me perfectly when I made the purchase). I conferenced in an Italian-speaking representative from American Express.

What an instant transformation.  After offering several lame excuses, the merchant promised immediate delivery.  Clearly, he did not want to displease American Express, a powerful corporation, even though he hadn’t cared a bit about pleasing me, his customer.

While I still enjoy the sculptures, I obviously harbor negative feelings about the experience.

That same merchant had directed us to a restaurant owned by a friend of his.

“Just let him take care of you. Don’t bother with the menu,” he said.

Feeling special, I took his advice. Dish after dish was served to our party of eight. Prices at that time should have warranted a total tab of no more than $50, to which I had planned to add a generous tip. But the check, when it arrived, was for $300. I was appalled.  I left no tip.

That evening we stood in line for three full hours, waiting for a water taxi to return us to our cruise ship. We finally called my nephew, who was already back onboard. He woke up the concierge, and thirty minutes later a water taxi appeared. While our party was accommodated on that taxi – the operator left many other cruise passengers stranded (even though it was only half full).  Apparently, the trade unions run the water taxis – for their own benefit, not for us “tourists” even though tourism is at the heart of their economy. This attitude certainly doesn’t bode well for a city dependent on tourism.

I’ve read that Venice is gradually sinking into the sea, and that its lowest point, St. Mark’s Square, is flooded about 100 days a year.

I’m never going back, and I wish the merchants of Venice a hearty “bon voyage” as their fiefdom slowly sinks into the Adriatic.

I look forward to every one of those pirates going down with their ship of prey.

Aside from that, happy new year.

Alan

My Uncle Morris, after a career selling life insurance, decided to change his professional focus and began selling residential real estate.

He joined a small agency. Then, he visited every one of the 120 homes they had listed so he could become familiar with their features.

When he met with potential clients, Morris interviewed them in depth to find out the exact characteristics of what they were looking for in a home. Based upon the listings and their preferences, he would take them to see three or four houses that best fit their needs.

By contrast, most real estate agents at the time spent a full day, or more, visiting dozens of houses with their buyers hoping that one would suit them. Morris believed that his approach saved time for both him and his customers and that it was ultimately more efficient for everyone.

He once told me a story about a couple who loved a one story house he had showed them. After touring the home, they asked to see the attic.

“The attic is at the bottom of these stairs,” he said.

“That’s not an attic,” they said. “That’s a basement, We want a home that has an attic.”

“I understand,” he said. “But what you really need is a large room for storage and perhaps a playroom for your children that isn’t located on the main floor.”

“Exactly.”

“Does it make any difference if that large room is upstairs or downstairs?  Why don’t we just take a look.”  Morris then led them downstairs to the basement.

The young couple bought the house.

I’ve always found this story instructive on two levels.

First, on salesmanship: what a great salesperson strives to do is is satisfy the customer’s underlying needs and desires. For example, if someone is looking for a great cruise, does it really matter if the ship leaves from Orlando rather than Miami?

Secondly, on meeting your own needs we should always consider what really serves us. When I’m on vacation, what I want most is to enjoy myself. I can be flexible about whether I’m vacationing on land or on a cruise ship or at a ski resort. What’s important is knowing what ultimately suits me best. This is especially relevant at the moment, since I’m writing this blog while on the Disney Wish, the newest of the Disney cruise ships. As compared with a hotel, the ship has better food, more amenities, and the service is outstanding. It certainly meets all of my vacation needs.

Just like with real estate – what really matters is who we are on the inside. Our clothing is, well, just window dressing and can be changed as easily as the curtains in a new house.

I hope that in the new year we will each resolve to honor the heart of what’s most important to us in our lives and disregard that which is just superficial. Does it really matter if the attic is in the basement so long as it suits your needs?

Happy holidays to all.

Alan