Almost a century ago Henry Clay, a U.S. congressman, famously said, “I’d rather be right than be president.”  I don’t know if he was right, but he was never president.

Being “right” often comes down to having other people agree with you.  Most of us like to hear someone say, “You’re right,” because it’s both validating and comforting.  But other people agreeing with you might not always be in your best interest.

My father taught me to be a contrary thinker, especially in the stock market.  I still remember the day my dad asked his stockbroker at E.F. Hutton for research on a company named First Charter Financial.

“That’s a Savings and Loan company,” the broker said.  “We don’t follow that industry because there isn’t much investment interest.”

My dad smiled, thanked him, and bought 5,000 shares for $7.00 each.  Four years later Dad sold his stock for $28.00 a share.  His thinking was simple: buy when others are selling, then sell when others are eager to buy.

It can be difficult to resist social pressure.  I’ve never smoked, but when I was eleven, I found myself with two classmates who wanted me to try.  One of them, Larry Schall, took out a pack of cigarettes, and both of my companions began puffing away.  They offered one to me.  Did I take it?  Yes, I did, though I never actually inhaled. Instead, I pretended to inhale while exhaling through the cigarette.

Today, I’m better at resisting social pressure.  During the Thanksgiving holidays I attended three family dinner parties.  The food was delicious.  But through a lifestyle change I now weigh 80 pounds less than I did four years ago and I will never go back to eating more than I need, even at risk of offending my host.  I even left a little stuffing (aptly named) on my plate.

Thank goodness I only have one lunch appointment this week, and that’s at a Chinese restaurant (because, as many of you might imagine, I’m turkey-ed out).

I hope this Thanksgiving you were able to act in your own pragmatic best interests and didn’t succumb to that unhelpful need to have others think you’re right.  More importantly, I hope you were able to spend meaningful time connecting with family and friends and enjoyed yourself – and the leftovers are great.

Alan

During my second year at USC law school I found myself bored.  I’d already decided to practice commercial law, so courses in civil procedure or criminal law did not hold my interest.  To keep myself engaged, however, I signed up for an evening class.

I always tried to choose my elective courses based on the quality of the teacher, rather than the subject matter.  Dr. Allan Casson, a professor in the USC English Department, was highly recommended by several of my friends, so I enrolled in his evening Shakespeare class.

At the beginning of his second lecture students began to ask questions.  Dr. Casson asked the class to hold their questions until the end and assured us that all of our questions would be answered during his lecture.

“What an arrogant snob,” I thought.  “At the end of his lecture I will have at least six questions he hasn’t answered.”

I must admit that his presentation was so comprehensive that he did, indeed, answer every question I might have thought of.  In fact, I scribbled notes at a furious rate for the full 2-1/2 hours, and this turned out to be one of the most educational and enjoyable classes I’d ever attended.

The final exam was a single essay question. We were asked to discuss the interrelationships among the five Shakespeare plays we had studied.  My initial reaction was, “This is the best test question I’ve ever read.” My second reaction was, “I don’t even know how to start to answer this question.”

In every situation where I’m not sure how to proceed, I stuff the problem into my subconscious, and ask for an answer.  This usually works.

During that exam I had an almost “out-of-body” experience as I watched my right hand write a lengthy essay, including information I didn’t even know I had learned.  I was amazed.  And delighted.

Dr. Casson had a successful career at USC and received USC’s Associates Award for Excellence in Teaching in 1966 and 1978.  Based upon my experience, he richly deserved all accolades.

As I write this, I’m reminding myself that it might be a good idea for me, even today, to find another outstanding teacher, and enjoy learning something new.  It’s fun.

As they say, it’s never too late to enjoy a successful childhood.

Alan

Who talks to you more than any other person in the world?

I used to say it was my mother, sitting on my shoulder and whispering, “Look both ways before you cross the street.”  But her message has become engrained.  Even on a one-way street I look both ways, and that is without even thinking about my mother’s warning.  She might have been cautious, but she was also right.

Today, however, I would say that the person I hear talking to me more than anyone else – is me.

But that is a good thing, because I get to choose what I say.

For example, outside my office I seldom think about work because, when I do, I mostly remember the problems, or the mistakes, that I can’t do anything about.  Close to forty years ago I found a small typo in a memo I had sent two years earlier. The thought of that typo still bothers me today, if I let myself I think about it.  Solution?  I seldom let myself think about it.

I’m happier when I think about the high points in my life, rather than low points.  This is true despite being able to still hear my father telling me it is important to correct my mistakes.  Dad – I once burned my hand on the stove.  I don’t have to remember that every time I fry an egg.  Life has taught me to be more careful than I used to be, and that is lesson enough.

I know many people preemptively worry that something bad will happen before it does.  I understand why, but when I find myself worrying about something beyond my control, I remember a line from the 2015 movie, Bridge of Spies. (I’ve mentioned this anecdote before, but I think it’s worth repeating).  When Tom Hanks, playing an attorney, is leaving the prison cell of Mark Rylance, playing a spy, Hanks turns to Ryland and says, “You do understand that if we lose in court you could be executed.”

Rylance responds, “I do.”

“But you don’t seem to be upset.”

“Would it help?” Rylance asks, shrugging his shoulders.

Perfectionists, beware.  You have nothing to lose but your peace of mind. So I suggest you filter out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive.

Alan