For many years I’ve believed that I don’t much care for dogs. Upon reflection, and based upon recent experience, I’ve decided to change my thinking. It isn’t that I don’t like dogs. It’s that I don’t like having to take care of one.

When I was seven or eight my younger brother and I pestered our parents incessantly to get us a dog. Finally, our dad agreed, and we became the proud “owners” of a black cocker spaniel.

Our father, of course, turned out to be right. David and I were too young for the daily tending that our dog required, and Dad ended up taking care of her himself.

Of course, Dad reminded us often that we weren’t being responsible, which caused more than a little family friction.

Now one of our adult daughters is temporarily living with us, together with her dog Oscar. I actually like Oscar, possibly because he really seems to like me. I spent most of last weekend at home, and he followed me from room to room, sleeping on the floor close to wherever I was. Both of us are “long in the tooth”, and we both like to rest often.

So I’m here to report that you can, in fact, teach an old human (me) a new trick. Even as I’m writing this Oscar just came into my bedroom and lay down beside my bed. And now, I’m smiling and feel that not only do I like Oscar, but his companionship makes me happy.

In the interest of being completely honest, Daveen and my daughter are Oscar’s caretakers. I don’t feed him, so I’m kind of surprised that he likes spending so much time with me. Though I admit, I pet him often, and he seems to like that. As do I.

In conclusion, I can gladly share that I’m still young enough to be able to change old habits and learn a new trick or two.

At some point I may even take Oscar for a walk. All by myself.

Woof!

Alan

I’ll admit that I was a smart ass in law school. But I credit Henry Springmeyer, who taught torts, with helping me see the error of my ways.

Of all my professors, he was the only one who required us to stand up in front of the entire class and present an analysis of the facts and issues of a case.

I was not always ready to be called on to recite. On this day, when I was called out, I was caught unprepared. Unfortunately, this was also the day, my fiancé was visiting the class, which made my performance even more memorable. There was nothing to do but bluster my way through the recitation with my usual impertinence.

The case involved liability for lack of lighting at a railroad station. Alas, I told the professor that he hadn’t provided enough information in his hypothetical case.

“What’s missing?”  He was already irritated.

“Whether it was day or night,” I said.

“Why is that important?”

“Because if it was nighttime there might be a duty to light the station.”  I could hear the class snickering.

“Night,” he spat.

He grilled me for ten minutes, and my responses were, well, miserable. Finally, professor Springmeyer said the magic words, “Mr. Fox. Would you like to sit down and pass to wiser minds?”

He was baiting me. He knew it. I knew it. Everyone in the class knew it.

“Yes sir, I would.”  And I sat down

He then scanned to room filled with my fellow law students. Finally, he settled back on me.

“Mr. Fox. Please stand up again.”

He was not done teaching me a lesson and the humiliation continued. Needless to say, It was not my finest moment.

This was sixty years ago. And it was the last time I was a smart ass in any class.

Perhaps you’re wondering how I was able to pass the bar exam.  Probably because I’m very good at taking tests.

Alan

Last week I shared how my doctor mixed up the results of my blood tests with those of another patient, an error that could have had significant health consequences for me. In the aftermath of such a significant mistake, how should I have reacted?  With anger or  recriminations? Or maybe by finding myself a new doctor?

I’ve seen the “satirical” comment, “To err is human, NOT to forgive is even more human.”  While that may be true, not forgiving carries with it a significant emotional price tag.  I’m sure you have made mistakes, as have I, and that you’ve also been affected by the mistakes of others.  But if I were to remain upset by every mistake made by me or someone else over the past 84 years, I would be carrying around a lot of baggage of useless anger, and I would be miserable most of the time.

Is forgiving sublime?  Well, I think that idea is on the right track, if a bit overstated.

In discussing this with Daveen, she reminded me that, years ago, and at great personal risk to herself, she loaned a friend $6,000.  The friend, who lived in another city, failed to pay her back.  As a result, one of Daveen’s credit cards was cancelled.  Understandably, she was quite upset.

I suggested that she might want to forgive her friend.  Daveen settled instead for “letting go” of her anger. And letting go is plenty good enough.  Letting go lets you move forward in your life without carrying around all that unhappy baggage.

Given the option of enjoying a life filled with positive thoughts and memories instead of allowing the past to cast a dark shadow, the choice seems simple. I choose to live my life unhindered by negative emotions from my past.

Not only does letting go impact your happiness, it preserves important relationships. My father used to correspond with his father through written letters. His father’s letters were always filled with memories of past problems between them.  My father suggested that they focus on positive memories in their future correspondence. My grandfather’s response was, “I can’t think of a single positive thing in our past.”

Understandably, my dad stopped communicating with his father. He also refused to attend his funeral.

In the words of Rodney King, “People, I just want to say, you know, can’t we all get along?”

I agree, Rodney. Thanks for those wise words.

Alan