Today I’m celebrating – well actually, more just noticing – my birthday.

I’ve asked those who might give me a gift to please refrain. Daveen is Spring cleaning and giving our possessions away, and I think I already have everything I need.  That’s a definite change from my tenth birthday when I wanted toys and instead received a scratchy wool sweater from my parents. I wore it exactly once.

Years ago, when my children were growing up, I decided to say “yes” to any of their requests, unless I had a good reason not to.  As many of you know, over the years “yes” has permeated both my personal and business life.

Years ago I read a story in the Wall Street Journal about bureaucracy in government. While I don’t remember the full details, I recall that a married couple in India met with a government representative at the airport to get the necessary documentation to travel abroad.  Realizing this might take time, they arrived four hours early.  Three and one-half hours later they told the representative that what they needed required his immediate attention because their plane was about to depart.  His response?

“Whatever you want, that’s what I won’t give you.”

That has not been my experience. I find government employees in the US are almost always helpful, and sometimes offer excellent suggestions.  Of course, a few don’t.  But all of us prefer, and sometimes need, a “yes.”

Even if we don’t think about it consciously, we all have a bias – “yes,” “no,” or “I need more information” are typical responses. I know there are people who always start with a no, then might backtrack to yes. I find it more constructive, and more fun, to start with yes.

As my birthday gift to the world, I suggest that we all invoke the tremendous power of “yes” in our lives.  Everyone you know will be happier, and you will feel great about the “yesses” you give to them.  You will feel even better when you say “yes” more often to yourself.

Don’t you think that’s a wonderful idea?

(Fill in your answer here ___.  A hint.  It’s one word with three letters.  Second hint.  The word starts with a “Y”.)

Happy Alan’s birthday to all.

Alan

As my regular readers probably know, I believe in the adage, “Expect the best, plan for the worst.”  To that I’ll add the central idea of a song written in 1899, Keep on the Sunny Side, because I always try to find reasons to enjoy the sunny side of any situation.  If I decide to do it, I can also decide to enjoy it.

To those who would ask, “Why?”, I would reply, “Why not?  The sunny side of the street is brighter, warmer, and just more fun.”

When I was younger my wife and I frequently made plans to dine out with other couples.  On more than one Saturday afternoon I’d find myself in a sour mood – dreading the dinner engagement.  But it was, and is, more important to me to honor my commitments rather than my mood.  So, I always attended the dinner.  Lo and behold – in almost every case I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation and companionship and was in a much happier frame of mind by the end of the evening.

For years I’ve practiced the practical art of finding the positives in any situation. Right now, I’m enjoying the process of writing – first the opportunity to reflect on some aspect of my life, then the process of trying to describe it effectively. I pay attention to my word choice and even find pleasure in physically typing out the first draft on my computer keyboard. I even enjoy the editing process, trying to put the right words into the right order.  Many years ago, a writer/director friend shared a piece of writing advice with me that is often attributed to Faulkner but might have originated even earlier.  “Kill your babies,” he said.  In other words, proceed objectively and without sentiment and if a word or some part of the writing is unnecessary, be ruthless in cutting it out – even if it is your favorite part (i.e. your baby).

I think that The Sunny Side of the Street can be applied to any activity. It’s unnecessary to dwell on the negative. You can always focus on what you enjoy.  Another set of lyrics is now running through my mind, “You got to Ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive; E-lim-i-nate the negative; And latch on to the affirmative; Don’t mess with Mr. in-between.

I think that songs, with their catchy melodies, say it better than I can.  You might do an internet search for either one of the songs above and take a listen. They might brighten your day!

Next week I’ll celebrate my 84^th birthday.

I’m looking forward to a great year.

Alan

A rainy day in Los Angeles offers a perfect opportunity to consider our legacy — yours and mine.

I’m not talking about the money we might leave to those we love. I am talking about the actions we perform each day to help others. Those acts are our most lasting and important gift to the world.

Years ago a young man asked me for advice. He was planning to start a business in commercial property management — similar to mine, and I freely gave him my time along with my guidance.  Then he asked me to share the templates for all of my contracts. I considered the possibility that he might ultimately become a competitor, but what the heck — I believed, and still do, that we have an obligation to help others to the extent we reasonably can. I gave him a copy of each of our forms. He thanked me. I never saw him again.

Still, I’m glad I helped. You’ve probably read the articles that establish how helping others brings us happiness. I agree.  It brings me great joy to help others.

I also hope that when I help someone, they will pay it forward by helping someone else, although that would be a bonus.  It’s not part of the original deal.

We all help our children, emotionally and financially from the moment they are born. We even continue to help them long after they begin to know more than we do — at about age thirteen. That’s fine with me. Better they should learn from their own mistakes while they are still at home in a somewhat protected environment. But even after they have fledged from the protective nests of their childhood homes – we continue helping them. And they in turn, begin to help us along with helping their own children, and others.

And so it goes. A cycle of helping others is the best legacy any of us can leave. As soon as I finish writing this blog, I’m going to take a moment to listen to the rain, and silently remember, and thank, all of those who helped me along my way. There have been, and still are, many.

My thanks to you for reading (and sometimes commenting) on my blog. I appreciate you.

Alan