Today I’ve been thinking about turning points in my life – those events that sent my life in an entirely unexpected direction.

Most of those turning points have been the consequence of a totally unrelated decision, nonetheless a decision that would serendipitously change the entire course of my future.

One significant turning point was the day in high school when I walked into Room 357 and met speech and debate coach L. Day Hanks.  Mr. Hanks encouraged me to join the debate team, and thereby set off a chain of events that had a significant long-term impact on my life. This included meeting my first wife, who also was also a member of the high school National Forensic League.

My most vivid memory in debate was competing against Lawrence Tribe, who I now see on TV as an expert on Constitutional Law.

We debaters were an egotistical bunch, and always thought we had won every debate – even when we hadn’t.  But Tribe was in a class by himself – the best debater I ever encountered. I admired him even as he was skillfully skewering my partner and me.  We were debating health care policy and Tribe’s partner had quoted Governor Rockefeller of New York.  My partner replied that Rockefeller was not a medical authority.  I still remember Tribe’s winning response. “We did not cite Governor Rockefeller as a medical authority, but rather as (pause for effect) a financial expert.” His perfect timing and delivery caused the audience to laugh.

Another turning point was when, at age 27, I volunteered to judge at the California High School Oratory Championships.  Glen, the winning speaker, was outstanding, and I helped to pay for his trip to the National Championships.  After he returned, Glen introduced me to Jim, who has remained a good friend for more than fifty years.  Jim and I still work closely together every day on real estate acquisitions and dispositions.

Indirectly, through Jim, I met my present wife Daveen.  She and I have been together for more than forty years.

These early synchronistic turning points have continued to make a long-term difference.

In 1967 I opened my first law office and applied for space in Century City.  I was rejected because I had submitted a hastily scribbled personal financial statement.  I applied again, this time with a typed statement, but before I was accepted, I leased office space in the San Fernando Valley – where I still live and work.

I conclude that we all simply have to accept the randomness of life, for better or for worse. My goal is to make the best of whatever situation I find myself in, and to appreciate all the exciting and often unexpected consequences that flow from each of the chance encounters and choices, both large and small, that have generated the turning points of my life.

As they say, “Man proposes, God disposes.”

Alan

This past weekend we celebrated Mother’s Day, and for the first time in two years Daveen and I held a real party at our home.  There were almost fifteen of us, eating, laughing, and sharing stories for five or six hours on a pleasant Sunday afternoon.

Our last two parties, planned before the beginning of the Pandemic, had to be cancelled.  The first, a retirement party for a long-term and valued employee was scheduled for Saturday, March 14, 2020.  My 80^th birthday bash, scheduled one week later, was also cancelled. Little did we know at the time that many parties and other social gatherings, would be “on hold” for a full two years.

So are we back to (a new) normal now?

I hope so, but there are no guarantees.

For me, the primary lesson from this experience is – and I repeat myself — there are no guarantees.  We never know what tomorrow might, or might not, bring, which is why it’s vital to wring the most meaning and enjoyment out of life today.

Even though it’s not January 1st, I feel it’s an appropriate time for a resolution.

My resolution?  Today counts.  There are no throwaways.  If it’s really important to me, I’ll do it today.  (Unless a task with a closer deadline intervenes.)

Like many of us, I respond best to deadlines.  I have many projects I realize I’ll never even begin, simply because I don’t have the incentive of a deadline.

Friends often ask me, “How is your writing going?”

I’m embarrassed to report that the only writing I consistently complete is my blog, as well as business letters that must be sent out immediately.  My “Great American Novel” is still trapped in my subconscious, perhaps never to be released. Unless…

This is starting to seem like a pep talk to myself.

I hope it works.

I’ll let you know next week.

Alan

Most of life is a stroll.

Isn’t that what we do?  Move around, take in the sights, buy some groceries.

Part of life is a leap.

We all have aspirations, goals we seek to achieve. Graduate from school, find a better job, or move to a nicer home.

And all of life is a dig.  Because aren’t we always searching for our authentic selves?

This quest to understand ourselves happens automatically.   Sooner or later, we figure out that we like, dislike, or are indifferent to action movies, hamburgers, or long driving trips.  We realize that we prefer going to the beach over reading a book.  Our breakfast of choice is one egg, over easy, and a slice of toast.  Buttered.

After all of this, we decide, consciously or not, how selective we will be in revealing who we really are to others.

“Of course, I like braised rabbit backs,” I found myself saying to a friend, after she presented, proudly, and I tasted, tentatively, the dish she had prepared for dinner.  But my “belt buckle” revealed my true preference when I stopped at a McDonalds on the way home.  (See my People Tools books regarding “Belt Buckle,” Patterns Persist,” and other life techniques I have found useful.)

Years ago, I read a humorous adage, “Life is hard, and then you die.”

Well, life certainly can be hard, but it can also be rewarding –especially as we realize, and accept, who we really are.

Whew!  That’s enough digging for one morning.

Alan