I’m sitting at my desk working, when it occurs to me that this week and next I will have a 3-1/2 day workweek because of the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.

Hurrah!

My attitude towards the holidays is a 180 degree change from when I launched ACF Property Management, Inc. in 1968.  At that time I resented any and all time off, because I was building a business as quickly as I could, and any day that my staff and I didn’t work was one day longer to arrive at my business destination.  I was definitely in a hurry, and worked virtually every weekend.

Last night, Daveen gently reminded me that one of my tasks in this life is to learn patience.  I agreed with her, but told her that I am often more patient today than I was fifty years ago.

Today, if someone is one minute late for a meeting or telephone call I don’t fly into an immediate internal rage, or start calculating just how much each minute of waiting is costing me.  I have learned to wait without complaint.  That is, without external complaint.

Another large personal change in my life has been my relationship to food. Instead of living to eat, I now eat to live.  As a kid, my breakfast was four eggs, eight slices of bacon, and four slices of buttered toast.  No wonder I weighed 207 pounds on the day I graduated high school.  Today my breakfast is one egg, one slice of Canadian bacon (20 calories), and one slice of toast (still buttered). During the pandemic I have lost almost 20 pounds, and now weigh less than I did when I was a teenager.

For most of my life my goal was to be a couch potato.  I became quite good at sitting still.  Moving is what cars are for. Today I aim to walk a few miles every day.

My original attitude toward Christmas, except for receiving a present, leaned toward “Bah, Humbug.”  Taking time off from work?  Really?

Today, I actually enjoy Christmas.  Our tree is trimmed in the family room, lights twinkling day and night, and we look forward to spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together with a small group of our family.

Life is change.  We are life.

Happy Holidays to all.

Love,

Alan

This week is the 100^th anniversary of the annual Miss America beauty pageant. Over the years the “pageant” has evolved considerably. Though it began as a “bathing beauty review” in 1921, it is no longer considered a pageant, but a competition. The swimsuit portion was eliminated in 2018 and the participants, now referred to as candidates, are no longer judged on their outward physical appearance, but on their talent and intellect.  And that reminds me of a meeting I had in the mid 1980’s with Debra Sue Maffett, who had been named Miss America in 1983.

I imagine many people, notably including me, are uncomfortable and not sure how to act when in the presence of an unusually attractive person who is a larger than life public figure. Especially when that person suddenly appears in their office.  In this case, Miss Maffett lived with a close friend of mine and had dropped by to introduce herself.

I confess, I was intimidated.

My mind went totally blank.  I don’t remember much from our conversation, other than feeling nervous. But ultimately, I was made to feel completely at ease by Miss Maffett, whose interpersonal skills and charm exceeded her considerable beauty.  She was an excellent conversationalist and I enjoyed spending time with her.

Obviously, in life we each try to “fit in” to society.  Especially as teenagers we are extremely concerned about being accepted.  Are we too short?  Too thin, too fat?  Is our nose the right size?  Do we dress in a socially acceptable way? Today these concerns about “fitting in” are amplified by our ubiquitous social media.

But – I’d like to reassure today’s youth that if you can have just one skill in life, cultivate the ability to get along well with others.

Develop your patience, tolerance, and consideration.  Even if you are exceptional in other ways – beauty, intelligence, charisma – to maximize your enjoyment of life, you still have to figure out how to create meaningful relationships with others. It is our relationships with friends, family members and colleagues that bring our greatest joy in life.  And while I know that we can’t please all of the people all of the time, we should aim to appeal to the people that matter to us whenever possible and to always treat them with kindness.

Debra, Wikipedia says that you hail from Cut and Shoot, Texas, and that you’re now 65 years old. There is no reason you should remember me, but since we’re all in the midst of a pandemic, I’d just like to say a virtual “hello,” and thank you for your lovely visit many years ago.

Alan

I used to ask people, “What is the most money you think you could ever earn in one year?”

One woman said to me, “I wouldn’t even tell my mother that.”

“I won’t tell your mother either.” I said.

“Oh.  Okay.  $35,000,” she revealed. Of course, that was years ago.

I wasn’t just asking just to be conversational.  I was testing my theory that we can never exceed an internal limit that we have set for ourselves, even (or especially) an unconscious limit.  I personally have set my internal money-earning limit very high, and promised myself to raise it if I ever got close.  That hasn’t happened yet.

Years ago I met someone in a poetry workshop at USC who has become one of my closest friends.  She has always been a terrific poet, and I was delighted to publish a number of her poems in Rattle, the poetry journal I founded.  This year, one of her poems was included in a collection of best American poetry.  What the heck. She could be a U.S. poet laureate one day.

As a child, I took it as a given that the world was run by adults.  I never thought that one day I would be one of them, even when, at age 8, I announced that I would be President of the United States.  (Today I wouldn’t take that job if it was handed to me.)

But my generation grew up and, for better or for worse, has produced both presidents and poets.

As long as each of us is alive, our possibilities remain boundless.

I invite you to free yourself from any self-imposed limits.

Alan