Until I was twenty-one years old I lived with my parents in their house on a hill.  I remember gazing with wonder at the strange roads and odd buildings on the hill across from ours. I simply loved the view.

Many of our preferences and priorities are rooted in our early experience.  I still like my hot dogs with mustard, but I prefer my hamburgers with ketchup as well.  From my father I learned the importance of saving money.  From my mother I learned to be curious. Both curiosity and saving money are priorities in my life.

And I have always preferred to live in a house on a hill.  My first law office was on the eighth floor of a building with a ten mile view through floor-to-ceiling windows. Until last week, I have lived in a home where I enjoyed a spectacular view of the San Fernando Valley.

Even so, I have often indulged my curiosity and visited an “open house” in my neighborhood.  Two months ago, on a Sunday afternoon drive home, I passed an “open house” sign on a nearby street.  I decided to take a look.

The house was Mediterranean in style with a red tile roof. I had passed it many times on my early morning strolls.  I expected to find small rooms and perhaps an updated kitchen.  What I found was a home that had been completely rebuilt, with beautiful landscaping both front and back.

The seller, a television set designer, had entirely redesigned the home from the rooftop down to the three-car garage.  As I walked through it I felt like I was in heaven. With windows on all sides and few walls, the house was filled with light.  The kitchen and family room were designed as a spacious great room that opened to the pool and garden.  I could throw a football to my grandchildren from the kitchen, through the dining room and entry hall, all the way into the living room.

There was one significant flaw to this otherwise special house.  It rested at the bottom of the canyon and had no valley view.

I told my fiancé that I loved the house.  She said she loved it too.

“Could you happily live here for the next thirty years?”

“Yes, I could.”  She hesitated.  “But if we kept on looking do you think we could find something better?”

I smiled.  “Not likely.”

Outside of writing, my priority is to take action.  Whenever I worry I ask myself if there is an action I can take.  If there is, I take it.  If not, I stop worrying.

I had lived gladly in my house on a hill for more than forty years.  It had served me and my many children well.  All of us had cherished the view.

Even so, I bought the new house.  My fiancé and I moved in a few days ago, and today I’m writing this blog from a sparsely furnished office near the kitchen.

Do I miss my Valley view?  To my surprise, not at all.

Instead I thoroughly enjoy a view which is quite different from what I am used to.  Our second story master bedroom reminds me of sleeping in a treehouse floating among the trees, with a close-up view of the leaves ­– worthy of my wonder for many years to come.

While we form many preferences when we are young, from time to time we might also enjoy, actually or metaphorically, living in a house with a brand new view.

Alan

What should you pay attention to during the next few minutes?  Reading my blog?  Answering your phone if you receive a call?  Taking a coffee break?  It all depends, doesn’t it?

Each of us has a clear sense of what we must pay attention to at any given moment, and our priorities fluctuate from one second to the next, depending upon our changing circumstances.

There are some priorities, however, which endure, but which are too often forgotten or ignored.  For example, we sometimes pay scant attention to what is going well in our lives – whether it’s work, friendships, or a primary relationship.  That can be an enormous mistake.

Several years ago my friend Sam married Linda, the love of his life.  The two were devoted to one another and lavished each other with attention. But for whatever reason — it could have been pressure from his job, other interests, or just plain dissatisfaction with his own life — Sam gradually started to take his relationship with Linda for granted. He put in longer hours at work and watched TV by himself at night. Linda, hurt by Sam’s lack of attention, stopped making Sam her priority as well. As you might have guessed, they didn’t end up staying together in what began as a very promising marriage.

You might think that it is easier to be kind to one another in a new relationship, and that it may be difficult to continue the kindness in a mature connection, but it is even more important to continue to be considerate, simply because you have more to lose.   Kindness should remain a high priority always. Over time the habit of treating each other carelessly can become a pattern which is difficult to change.

I have been in business for fifty years, and I’ve been fortunate to work with many fine people.  I try to pay attention to every one of my business associates, and have always paid special attention to everyone who is loyal to me. Many on my staff have been with me for more than a decade, and a number for more than thirty years.

One day twenty years ago Elizabeth, a key employee, was angry and complained to me about her dissatisfaction.  This was a few minutes before I was planning to leave for a family vacation.  I immediately called my wife and postponed our trip.  I spent four hours working with Elizabeth to resolve our differences, and later paid a substantial fee to rebook the airline tickets.  Elizabeth remains at my company to this day.

In my business the people I work with come first.  They are the key to our success.

My second priority is my clients.  I don’t pay the rent.  They do.

My third priority is to outside vendors, who are essential to keeping the lights on and the air conditioner working.  I do my best not to take any of them for granted.

But my top priority is always my family.  When I started out I didn’t want to “waste” my business time on personal phone calls, so I was very short with my wife, parents, or children when they called.  Over the years I have changed my thinking, and now I’m always delighted to spend time on the phone with any family member who needs my attention.  I’ll stay at work later, if necessary.

Each of us should think about our priorities in life and stick to them.  Writing my weekly blog is important to me, but sometimes I’ll take a minute to stretch my legs or for a bathroom break.

And I practice kindness wherever I go.

Alan