Yesterday, I found myself contemplating my life. Wouldn’t it be nice, I thought, to be fifty years younger again? In my case, that would mean I’d be 34 years old.
Of course, there are details. Chances are I wouldn’t make the same choices and have the same opportunities and experiences, and that would mean I wouldn’t have the same life, same spouse, same bank account. I’d have to go through the same or similar experiences I did years ago all over again. Would I wind up, 50 years from now, in the same place, or become the same person. Who knows?
Thank goodness this is a thought experiment, and not (as far as I know) reality. I really like my life, and wouldn’t trade it for another, even if that included the “bonus” of living an extra half a century. I think the possibility of me having a better life is unlikely. Consequently, the chance of having a different, longer life is not appealing.
It became popular in the 1970’s to “live in the moment.” But that is something I’ve always done.
I have a friend I have seen regularly for more than forty years. When we’ve been apart for more than a week or two she used to say, “I missed you.” When I don’t respond with the proper words, such as “I missed you too” she used to feel rejected. But when I live in the moment, I’m paying attention to where I am, who I’m with, and whatever it is I’m thinking or feeling at that time. I seldom focus on someone who is not physically present. (I admit that from time to time I’ll Google the name of a friend I’ve lost touch with over the years, basically to see where they are, and if they’re still alive. I’m happy to report that most of them are.)
The passage of the days and hours is highly subjective. Doesn’t it seem that when you’re enjoying yourself time passes quickly, and when you’re bored it slows to a crawl? In that sense, my life has been rather short.
Thought experiment aside, I do my best to treasure each moment, even when it contains a lesson I’d rather not learn. Because in the bigger picture I wouldn’t have gotten where I am without all the choices I’ve made in the past. And that certainly includes the mistakes.
So when an angel, or devil, appears and asks me if I’d like to be young again, my answer is:
“Thanks, but no thanks. I really like the life I have.”
Alan