Header Image - Alan C. Fox

I Can’t Wait for the Sun to Come up

by Alan C. Fox 2 Comments

My parents were close friends with the artist, Peter Krasnow.  When I was young we often visited his studio/home on weekends.  I loved to play in his garden where he grew kale, before it was popular, and I’d “ride” on one of his statues that reminded me of a slightly unbalanced pig.

Peter died in 1979 when he was ninety-three years old.  I remember many stories about Peter. When potential art patrons visited his modest studio they often asked if he earned his living by selling his paintings and sculptures.  He would always say, “No.  I actually earn my living by running a saloon on Main Street.”

When I was 23 I wanted to buy my first house. I needed a $2,200 down payment.  My parents were on an extended tour of Europe.  Peter (remember, he was an artist – and there was no saloon) offered to loan me the money.

But my strongest memory of Peter was the time he was ill. For several months, he was unable to hold a paint brush.  After he recovered, Peter said to me, “Alan, I’m so glad I’m better because every day I can’t wait for the sun to come up so I can start to paint.”

Every year I support The Pollination Project which provides small grants to many people who help others.  In a recent letter their Executive Director, Alissa Hauser, quoted Martin Luther King:

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve.  You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.  You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.  You only need a heart full of grace.  A soul generated by love.”

In honor of my father who, at age 103, is still perhaps the best music teacher in the world, I recently made a significant grant to the University of Arizona.  Last Monday my dad and I spent our day visiting The Fred Fox School of Music in Tucson. While there, we met with the president of the University to discuss changes that will better serve the school’s passionate and flourishing student body. We were joined by Ed Reid, the Director of the School of Music, along with Tom Patterson, a world renowned guitar professor who has built their program over the past thirty-seven years.

Our meeting was extremely productive. All of us, notably including the President (who gives out his cell phone number to students), are focused on serving the greater good of the school.

After the meeting, we dined at an excellent Chinese restaurant. My fortune cookie said, “Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.”  Lose?  Haha.

Win or lose, we can help others.  Every one of us can help someone else every single day.

And that is why I could hardly wait for the sun to come up this morning.

Love,

Alan

6 views

I Ask for Help

by Alan C. Fox 9 Comments

I’m writing this blog to memorialize one of the best weeks of my life.

It shouldn’t have been a good week. After a personal crisis that I won’t elaborate on, I arrived at my son Craig’s home at 8:30 am Saturday morning.

Craig and his wife welcomed me and carried all that I had brought with me up to their guest room where I settled in.  The next day my daughter Jill drove down from her home near San Jose to spend the week with me.

I am a man who likes to take care of others.  I seldom ask for help. When I do I am sometimes turned down.  Possibly because I don’t ask for help well, or maybe because some people are more used to receiving than to giving.

Craig and his wife have two young boys and they are always busy with work. Even so, Craig spent all day Saturday with me, shopping for clothes and taking care of other emergency items.  I was touched.  Throughout the week Craig and his wife spent hours talking with me. As we opened ourselves to each other, I grew to know them better than I ever have. It was a love fest.

Jill referred me to an expert who provided me with advice that was pivotal in helping me resolve my problem.  Jill also drove me to and from work all week, handling her own life from a laptop in my office.  On Friday her son flew to Los Angeles and the three of us spent the best day together I can ever remember.

During the week my office staff was extremely supportive. They went above and beyond.

Many close friends and family members called or texted me with support, and to tell me they love me.

On Saturday, Craig, his family and I, participated in the peaceful March For Our Lives demonstration in downtown Santa Monica.  I carried a sign I created myself, complete with blinking lights, that said, “POETS NOT BULLETS”.  One man offered to carry my sign for a while, many people took photos of it, and there were “thumbs up” all around.

I always want to be better tomorrow than I am today.  So what are the lessons I’ve learned?

First, when you need help ask for it.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

Second, when life serves you lemons, make lemonade.  It may sound trite, but I’ve found that when one door closes many doors open.  You only have to maintain a positive attitude and use a tiny bit of your energy to help those doors along.

Third, when I share more of myself, friends and family share more of themselves.  Life is reciprocal.  Though I’m not always responsible for what comes my way.  I’m always responsible for what I do with it.

As a result of this experience, I intend to be even more open with my family and close friends than I have been. An old Alka Seltzer commercial says, “Try it.  You’ll like it,” I agree.

Craig is very good at puns.  Last Sunday morning he said, “Today may be a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.”  Haha.

Here’s to the future. Here’s to asking for what you need from family and friends — and here’s to receiving it.

With love and thanks to all,

Alan

3 views

If at First You Don’t Succeed

by Alan C. Fox 1 Comment

Should you “try, try, again”?

Conventional wisdom says “yes.”  I say, “Trying again is just one option.  There are others.”

First I should mention that I regard any conclusion I reach in my life as a working hypothesis. For example, I believe that Los Angeles, where I was born, is the best city in the world for me to stay. That’s why I’m still here.  But I’m open to the idea that my rock-solid conclusion, which I have acted on for seventy-eight years, is subject to review and change.

Circumstances change.  Our abilities change.  Our understanding of our lives can change as well.  Maybe a conclusion reached many years ago (“I’ll never talk to that neighbor again”) was inappropriate in the first place.  To find and live the best possible life we must always be open to changing our conclusions.  I’m sure of that.  (Ha ha.)

During the past fifty years I have syndicated and managed commercial real estate.  I have many loyal investors, and we have purchased and sold hundreds of properties.  When I present an investment to a potential investor I seldom “try, try again.”

Years ago I offered an investment to a gentleman referred to me by my friend Gary.  When the gentleman said he had decided to invest, I prepared and mailed out a contract.  One week later I contacted him to confirm that he had received it.  He said that he had, and would sign and return it immediately, together with his check.

After three weeks I still hadn’t received anything from him,   I finally asked that he either return or destroy the documents in his possession.

Several months later Gary asked me to offer a second investment to the same gentleman.

I said, “Gary, it’s my policy not to do that.  If someone agrees to invest and asks for a contract, then doesn’t perform, it is unlikely that they will perform the second time.”  (See my book People Tools, Chapter 7, “Patterns Persist”.)

“Alan, this man has referred many investors to me.  I’m sure he will invest with you this time.  As a favor to me, please send him a contract.”

I did.  But his pattern persisted.  No investment.

Sometimes it is appropriate to try once, and then stop trying. Or try someone else or something different.

I once met a potential investor in her apartment in Marina del Rey.  She was a practicing attorney. As we talked she began to tell me about all of the litigation she was involved in.  She was suing various people, and many people were suing her.

She pestered me for more than two years, but I never sent her any investment information.  I didn’t want to be next victim on her litigation list.

Sometimes it’s better not to try at all.

And sometimes it’s best to end writing a blog while your reader is still interested.  I remember the show biz adage, “Leave ‘em wanting more.”

Thanks.

Alan

7 views