As a kid I loved to read science fiction. Many of those stories provided important and lasting lessons, some of which have stuck with me for more than sixty years.

In one story the hero wished to live his life as a movie highlight reel without the boring interludes.  His wish was granted but, sure enough, while his life moved from highlight to highlight he missed everything else.

He got the girl, but in those days movies were heavily censored, so when the bedroom door closed there was a quick cut to the next highlight.  The rest of his entire life was G rated and ran for only ninety minutes.

My wife and I, together with one of our daughters and two of our adult grandchildren, enjoyed a quiet New Year’s Eve dinner at home, sharing our favorite memories of the past year.  Mine was January 12, 2019, when Daveen and I moved back in together. (I got immediate credit for being romantic.)

The next three evenings of the New Year the five of us watched three of my favorite movies, which were:

Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, My Cousin Vinnie with Danny DeVito and Marisa Tomei, and The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe.  We enjoyed three warm and wonderful family evenings in a row.

I have seen each film many times, but as we savored them again I was surprised by a number of important scenes I hadn’t remembered.  Yet each of those scenes brought additional emotional resonance to the movie.

I tend to live my life fast – one and done.  Get it over and move on.  But here at the beginning of a new decade I enjoyed not only the highlights, but also the depth of every moment spent with my loved ones.

Daveen and I took a walk around the neighborhood each day.  I was surprised and delighted to walk past the same trees and houses, each time absorbing more details.

The highlights of our lives are brief.  Depth takes time and repetition.

Highlights are memorable, but most of our lives are spent with mundane activities such as watching a movie, or preparing a meal.  The journey takes far longer than the moment of leaving or the moment of arrival,

In 2020 let’s all slow down a bit and relish each moment.  As Simon and Garfunkel put it:

“Slow down, you move too fast, gotta make the morning last . . .”

It’s not the births, marriages, and deaths that fill our lives.  It’s everything we enjoy in between those annual New Year’s Eves and birthdays that counts.

Happy New Moment.

Alan

Today is the final day of 2019, and the time of year when many of us compose our annual list of New Year’s Resolutions.

Of course, most resolutions fail to survive through the end of January.  But if you want your New Year’s Resolutions to stick, I offer the following recommendations.

1. Keep your list to fewer than five, best between one and three. Better to keep one resolution than fail at keeping twenty.
2. Work within your own psychological framework in structuring resolutions. For instance, I tend to meet deadlines. I have written this blog every week for the past seven years because I have a Monday evening deadline. I know that to be effective, my own resolutions must have an objective deadline.  One of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to walk a daily average of 4,000 steps, with 2,000 steps before lunch.  This gives me both an interim and daily deadline, which helps me meet my goal.
3. Keep your resolutions simple and you’ll be more likely to accomplish them. For example, “I’m going to give myself one compliment every day before noon, is clear, concise and easily achievable.  You might post a note on your refrigerator to remind you.”
4. Keep it specific. “In 2020 I’m going to have the best year of my life,” is far too general.  To be effective, a resolution must be something you can objectively verify.
5. Tell three people, in writing, what your resolutions are, and ask them to check back to see how you are doing at the end of January. If you don’t commit to anyone else, it’s too easy to “forget.”  If you resist the idea of telling others your specific resolutions in the first place, then you have crossed your fingers behind your back and probably already know you don’t really intend to keep them.
6. Ask friends for suggestions. If an idea comes from someone else, it might be a good one that you would not otherwise have thought of. Your friends will be thrilled when you ask them to share their wisdom with you.
7. Don’t challenge yourself too severely. The more extreme the resolution, the more likely you won’t keep it.

I’ve heard it said that a habit is first a cobweb, then a cord, and finally a cable.  Your new resolutions call for a change in the cable of your present habits, and long-standing habits, like addictions, are not easily changed.

But also remember that any day of the year is a good day to start improving your life. You don’t have to wait for a new year to resolve to change for the better.

Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and productive year in 2020.

Alan