OMG.  I’ve attended two parties in the past two weeks – parties at which many guests seemed to have forgotten their masks.  Both gatherings were indoors/outdoors, and at each one, I chose a table open to the wind.

I had forgotten how much fun a party can be.

In March of 2020 I was ready to host a retirement party for Cathy, ACF’s excellent general manager.  On the Tuesday before the Saturday event, it became clear to me that we would have to postpone.  No one was happy about it.  Cathy had been a beloved employee for many years and deserved a festive sendoff.  As it turns out, we cancelled one day before the deluge began.  The very next day the National Basketball Association modified its entire season to accommodate COVID 19 and soon after that the entire country went into lockdown.

But we humans are inherently flexible.  During the past 29 months most of us have adjusted to COVID.  Today I enjoy working from home two days a week, as do many others.

Even though COVID is still with us, people are getting out and about.  From what I’ve read, travel related companies, notably including airlines, are scrambling to meet the high demand.

As a general policy, I refuse to worry about a future I can’t do anything about.  This started in the 1940’s, when for a few years I worried about a nuclear bomb bursting into a mushroom cloud over Los Angeles at any given moment.  I finally calmed myself by realizing my energy was better directed to problems I could do something about, and not those potential events entirely beyond my control.

I will continue to take precautions in response to COVID.  I will mask in public, remain ten feet away from people I talk to in the office, and continue to enjoy more solitary pursuits such as reading and watching sports on TV.

What I will not do is retreat from the world.  There might be fewer parties to attend, but that is the best reason I know to enjoy each one even more.

And yet, we must remain careful.  Daveen attended a wedding last Saturday evening.  The post-wedding brunch was cancelled because on Sunday morning the groom tested positive for COVID.

Perhaps the new rule in life is to have fun – but at a respectful distance.

Alan

That’s an impressive anniversary.  It wasn’t mine, though hopefully it will be in about another twenty years.

As a freshman at the University of Southern California in 1957, I met fellow students Joe and Barbara.  He became the Editor in Chief of the Daily Trojan, and Barbara followed him in the same role.  Both enjoyed long, successful careers in journalism, and Joe, now in his early 80’s, still teaches at USC.  This past weekend we attended their 60^th anniversary celebration.

Because of Covid, Daveen and I haven’t appeared at many parties during the past 30 months, but this was one we didn’t want to miss (and our table was partly outside which gave us some comfort).

Sixty years.  As the universe turns, that’s almost nothing.  But for a human lifespan, it’s significant – perhaps 75%.

I value long term relationships.  A new relationship is often fun and exciting, but a relationship of more than half a century has survived the biggest hurdle – the test of time.

This past week we’ve been celebrating long standing relationships.  Daveen and I visited Jill, who now lives in Oregon.  She and I lived together about fifty years ago.  We also connected with John, who was my first real estate investor in the 1970’s.  Nancy and I have been working on writing projects together since we met in a poetry class in the early 1990’s.  Several ACF employees have worked with me for more than thirty years.

Life is like a stream emerging from the mountain tops, flowing to the ocean, accumulating the strength and warmth of friendships along the way, and it is these friendships that provide our lives with connection and meaning.

To Joe and Barbara – I wish you a happy 61^st year.

I hope to continue enjoying our shared journey for many years to come.

Love,

Alan

To keep current on important news, I read the New York Times online every day.  They always feature one lengthy human-interest article.  One story last week was about two elderly Chinese gentlemen who met in a homeless shelter in New York City and became best friends.

As children, my younger brother David and I played together (and fought together).  When mom brought him home from the hospital, I was no longer the center of attention.  Did that bother me?

You bet.  After observing him carefully for a few months I said to Mom, “He doesn’t seem to be useful for anything.  Take him back.”  She ignored my request.

David loved to play ping pong.  Knowing this, I would only agree to play with him if the loser took the winner’s turn washing the dinner dishes.  Since I was older, I usually won. That wasn’t a bad trade-off, I thought, since playing ping pong is far more fun than washing the dishes.

As adults, we became best friends.  David, who was very quick on his feet, was an outstanding trial attorney.  He represented me at one deposition in which he flawlessly shielded me from the unwarranted and intrusive questions of opposing counsel. I still remember feeling extremely grateful to my little brother for his protection. By then I had unequivocally revised my original opinion. He was, in fact, very useful.

Almost twenty years ago he didn’t appear at work, and his office staff asked his ex-wife to check on him.  We had last seen him the weekend before at a 4^th of July party.

Carolyn called me from his house, where she found his body.  Apparently, he died from a totally unexpected heart attack.  He was sixty years old.

I was devastated. For six months, I had trouble functioning.  I have never fully recovered from his loss and haven’t had a male friend that I felt as close to since.

Reading the article in the NY Times reminded me of the importance of friendships. And so, I made a promise to myself to appreciate my friends more fully. We don’t need to wait for Thursday June 8, 2023 (which is Best Friends Day in the United States).

I urge you to hold your friends close.  They may not be around forever.

Alan