My friend David has directed many plays in many theaters. I sat next to him one day at The Whitefire Theater in Sherman Oaks, California, while he auditioned actors for his next production. One aspiring actor after another took the stage to perform.
Shortly after the second actor began to audition, David turned to me and resumed our conversation. I was uncomfortable because we were both ignoring the actor, but I was a guest and, as such, followed his lead.
But when David turned to talk to me during the performance by the third actor, then the fourth, I felt compelled to say something.
“David, these actors are auditioning for a job. Shouldn’t we at least listen to them?”
“Alan,” he said, “I want actors who will hold the attention of the audience.” David had won several acting awards earlier in his career, and presumably knew what he was talking about. “I want an actor who carries a sense of danger, so I don’t know what he or she might do next.”
“But we’re not being very polite.” I hate rejection and was identifying with the actors, not the director.
“If an actor doesn’t hold my attention,” he said, “they don’t belong in my play.”
When the fourth actor finished his piece David turned to dismiss him with a curt, “Thanks. We’ll let you know.” I was uncomfortable because it seemed to me the actor was, understandably, disappointed. I was thankful that, although I acted in a few plays in high school, I wasn’t very good and was never tempted to become an actor. In retrospect I would have hated the ordeal of auditioning three or four times a day, being repeatedly rejected, and even if I was selected, in a day or a month I would be back on the street, auditioning again. Ugh!
That audition was many years ago, but I have carried with me from that day to this two ideas. One is that it is up to the actor 
to grab my attention. I agree with my director friend on that point. I don’t, however, agree with his treatment of the individuals auditioning for him.
We are all on stage for each other at many different times in our lives and I believe we have an obligation to be compassionate. Even when the one auditioning (or applying for a job or trying to sell me an insurance policy) might not have grabbed my attention, I owe him or her the polite consideration of my notice for a brief moment of time. And if they don’t succeed in grabbing my attention, I can let them know as directly and kindly as possible. It might be my turn on stage next time.
So while you will still need to get my attention to get the part. I will treat you respectfully even if you don’t. It might still be up to you to grab my attention, but it’s up to me to be kind.
Alan
