Decisions, Decisions

I have added them all up, and I can now reliably report that each of us makes exactly a zillion decisions, both great and small, every day.

What time shall I get out of bed?  What shall I have for breakfast?  Shall I refuel the car?  Those are some of the small decisions we might make.

Shall I accept an offer of marriage?  Should I move across the country for a new job?  Do I want to go back to school to learn a new profession?  These are a few of the larger decisions we might face in our lives.

You can easily reverse the small decisions.  I can walk out of the theater if I’m not enjoying the movie. I can pour myself a bowl of cereal for breakfast if the family has already finished the eggs.  I can leave work early if I am needed at home.  It’s not super important to get these decisions right the first time, because you can modify them easily.

It’s important, however, to get the big decisions right the first time.  A divorce is emotionally and financially draining. Moving back to where you lived before a cross-country job opportunity might be challenging – or impossible. Finding a profession that you love often involves a certain amount of luck – along with a series of well-played decisions.

So how do you deal with the difficult decisions, especially those that can be life-changing and that you need to wrestle with in your own mind?

A friend of mine once suggested a technique I find useful. I simply make a decision, but I don’t tell anyone.  I let myself experience how the decision feels.  If I’m flooded with pleasure, I proceed with that choice.  But if, after deciding, I feel like I’d have regrets, then I can change my mind.

The important factor is to decide, not dither.

Of course, another choice is simply not to decide, but that is a decision as well.

I seldom agonize before I make a decision, but occasionally I need to remind myself that my powers of prediction are limited, and I can never know for sure, even with the benefit of hindsight, if the decision I made was the best one.

In the fourth grade my teacher had a little red book on the corner of her desk with all the correct answers to the math problems.

As an adult, I can’t always be certain that I’m asking the right questions.

Alan