Different Preferences – Do We Agree?

There are two major areas in which you are unique — your memories and your preferences.  Your memories, of course, strongly influence your preferences.

For example, when I was a boy our family ate dinner at 5:30 pm on the dot.  I still like to eat dinner early.  I also like to begin meetings on time. My reasons are tied to my memories.

When I was travelling in Spain I was shocked that dinner customarily began after 10:00 pm.  When I ate dinner that late it was difficult for me to sleep.  Although it wasn’t the end of the world, it was difficult for me to go against my long standing preference.

Yet diverse preferences can cause serious arguments.

When I was growing up I learned that the best way to maintain peace was to stay clear of certain subjects, including politics, religion, and money.

Recently, my dear friend, Diane, brought her entire family to stay with us for a week.  At the first dinner no one brought up politics.  The next morning I asked Diane if her family was on the same political page as she and I.

“Oh, no,” she said.  “One of my daughters is strongly on the other side.  She’s such a wonderful daughter in every other way.  But she’s just wrong on that.  We don’t talk about politics anymore,”

I entirely understand.  But when millions of people vote for one side, and millions of people vote for the other side, how can any of us believe that one side is absolutely right and the other side is absolutely wrong?  We all feel that our opinions are important, but we have to recognize that, in the final analysis, our personal opinions reflect our personal preferences and not some immutable truth.

In fact, I’ve never met anyone who agrees with me on all of my preferences.  Are they automatically wrong?  Or am I wrong in their mind?

Whether you start dinner at 5:30 pm, or after 10:00 pm, whether you cheered for the Dodgers or the Red Sox in the recently completed World Series, or whether you simply don’t follow sports at all, it’s just a matter of your personal preference.

It’s easier for me to enjoy my life when I remember that even though my father loves raw oysters, I don’t have to eat them.  When I remember that all opinions are personal and not universal, it’s easier for me to enjoy our conversation (and to lower my blood pressure).

Do we agree?  Or, perhaps you have a different opinion?

Alan