Don’t Slam Your Computer Around

When they work properly, electronics are great.  I love to sit at my desk, read incoming texts and emails, then file my reply in a folder. I love to stay in touch with friends and family on my iPhone.  I also like to check sports scores, the weather, and hear that friendly voice on Google Maps tell me where to go.

But I’m a fair weather friend to my electronics. When my iPhone drops a call, or when my laptop loses a document, I feel like stomping on them and demanding a full refund.  On a recent business visit to Kansas City my Google Maps application wasn’t working. I didn’t have a printed map (does anyone use those anymore?), and so I got thoroughly lost.

When my electronic gadgets don’t work the only thing I can do is ask the nearest teenager for help.  Unfortunately, In Kansas City I was with my dad who knows even less about electronics than I do.

But this blog is not really about iPhones and laptops.  It’s about human relationships.  A better title might be “Don’t Slam Your Friends Around.”  In this age of social media and constant connectivity, we often pay closer attention to our gadgets than to our friends.

I follow one basic rule:  I pay the most attention to those people who are important to me, and I don’t spend emotional energy on things, even expensive things, like electronics or cars.  Things can be repaired or replaced.  People cannot.

Exactly how do I make sure the people who matter most to me get the special attention they deserve?

1. I listen to them. Not with an iPhone clamped to one ear.  When you are talking to me you deserve my full attention.
2. I contact them regularly. I like to see my business associates almost every working day.  I spend time with my family and friends as often as is comfortable for both of us.
3. I care about whatever is important to them. If your sister is sick, I care. If you’re afraid of losing your job, I care.  If you have a life plan which excites you, I’m on board and want to help you reach your goal.

Of course, it’s important not to slam yourself around either.  When you care about yourself you can be gentle and encouraging, pat yourself on the back, and let the criticism come, if it must come at all, from somewhere else.

So maybe I should change the title of this blog after all.  Slam your computer around if you like.  But, treat the people who matter to you with as much care and attention as you can. And make sure to include yourself. As they say, keep your friends close and yourself even closer.

Alan