Filter What You Think

Who talks to you more than any other person in the world?

I used to say it was my mother, sitting on my shoulder and whispering, “Look both ways before you cross the street.”  But her message has become engrained.  Even on a one-way street I look both ways, and that is without even thinking about my mother’s warning.  She might have been cautious, but she was also right.

Today, however, I would say that the person I hear talking to me more than anyone else – is me.

But that is a good thing, because I get to choose what I say.

For example, outside my office I seldom think about work because, when I do, I mostly remember the problems, or the mistakes, that I can’t do anything about.  Close to forty years ago I found a small typo in a memo I had sent two years earlier. The thought of that typo still bothers me today, if I let myself I think about it.  Solution?  I seldom let myself think about it.

I’m happier when I think about the high points in my life, rather than low points.  This is true despite being able to still hear my father telling me it is important to correct my mistakes.  Dad – I once burned my hand on the stove.  I don’t have to remember that every time I fry an egg.  Life has taught me to be more careful than I used to be, and that is lesson enough.

I know many people preemptively worry that something bad will happen before it does.  I understand why, but when I find myself worrying about something beyond my control, I remember a line from the 2015 movie, Bridge of Spies. (I’ve mentioned this anecdote before, but I think it’s worth repeating).  When Tom Hanks, playing an attorney, is leaving the prison cell of Mark Rylance, playing a spy, Hanks turns to Ryland and says, “You do understand that if we lose in court you could be executed.”

Rylance responds, “I do.”

“But you don’t seem to be upset.”

“Would it help?” Rylance asks, shrugging his shoulders.

Perfectionists, beware.  You have nothing to lose but your peace of mind. So I suggest you filter out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive.

Alan