If at First You Don’t Succeed

Should you “try, try, again”?

Conventional wisdom says “yes.”  I say, “Trying again is just one option.  There are others.”

First I should mention that I regard any conclusion I reach in my life as a working hypothesis. For example, I believe that Los Angeles, where I was born, is the best city in the world for me to stay. That’s why I’m still here.  But I’m open to the idea that my rock-solid conclusion, which I have acted on for seventy-eight years, is subject to review and change.

Circumstances change.  Our abilities change.  Our understanding of our lives can change as well.  Maybe a conclusion reached many years ago (“I’ll never talk to that neighbor again”) was inappropriate in the first place.  To find and live the best possible life we must always be open to changing our conclusions.  I’m sure of that.  (Ha ha.)

During the past fifty years I have syndicated and managed commercial real estate.  I have many loyal investors, and we have purchased and sold hundreds of properties.  When I present an investment to a potential investor I seldom “try, try again.”

Years ago I offered an investment to a gentleman referred to me by my friend Gary.  When the gentleman said he had decided to invest, I prepared and mailed out a contract.  One week later I contacted him to confirm that he had received it.  He said that he had, and would sign and return it immediately, together with his check.

After three weeks I still hadn’t received anything from him,   I finally asked that he either return or destroy the documents in his possession.

Several months later Gary asked me to offer a second investment to the same gentleman.

I said, “Gary, it’s my policy not to do that.  If someone agrees to invest and asks for a contract, then doesn’t perform, it is unlikely that they will perform the second time.”  (See my book People Tools, Chapter 7, “Patterns Persist”.)

“Alan, this man has referred many investors to me.  I’m sure he will invest with you this time.  As a favor to me, please send him a contract.”

I did.  But his pattern persisted.  No investment.

Sometimes it is appropriate to try once, and then stop trying. Or try someone else or something different.

I once met a potential investor in her apartment in Marina del Rey.  She was a practicing attorney. As we talked she began to tell me about all of the litigation she was involved in.  She was suing various people, and many people were suing her.

She pestered me for more than two years, but I never sent her any investment information.  I didn’t want to be next victim on her litigation list.

Sometimes it’s better not to try at all.

And sometimes it’s best to end writing a blog while your reader is still interested.  I remember the show biz adage, “Leave ‘em wanting more.”

Thanks.

Alan