First Thing Each Morning

In my first blog of 2017 I’d like to suggest a simple way of connecting with those you love, as well as those you like.

As soon as both of you are awake in the morning, turn over in bed and say, “I love you.”   If no one is there, a text saying “I love you” will do.

If you aren’t currently in a love relationship, then “I like you,” “I really like you,” or “You’re special to me,” by text, telephone, or in person will be fine.

I’d like to share a few more thoughts on this:

1. Many guys seldom say, “I love you.” One friend of mine, Gail, told me that in twenty years of marriage her husband only said “I love you” four times.  I’m sure she was waiting for more.  Guys, you’re simply going to have to retrain, not restrain, yourselves.  I promise it won’t hurt you, and may help your relationship a lot.
2. Many people believe that the word “love” is the equivalent of “sex,” and is somehow awkward or embarrassing. Yet parents say “I love you” to their children all the time, and children, even adult children, say it right back to their parents or siblings.  There is nothing shameful or wrong in connecting with a human being you care for by saying, “I love you.”
3. Many of us unconsciously think of the word “love” as a trap. You only have to listen to a few love ballads before you realize that “I love you” can be code for “You owe me something,” or “I’m neurotic and I’m only saying that to hear the same thing back from you to reassure me.”  Keep the word “love” pure in your own mind and heart.  Love is a gift, not a piece of bait that conceals an invisible hook.
4. What if the object of your verbal affection rolls over in bed and sleepily mumbles, “Uh huh,” or doesn’t reply to your text? This is not a disaster. Please keep in mind that your purpose in saying “I love you” is simply to express your own feelings.  It should not designed to provoke a reciprocal reply.  Your words spring from the love you feel inside your own heart.
5. If you need reassurance then just ask for it. “Honey, I would really like to hear you say, ‘I love you,” in the morning.’”  And be sure to say “Thank you” when he or she does.

Human connection is what we live for.  The start of each waking day is the best time to connect.

Almost one year ago Sprite and I began living together.  On our very first morning she woke up before me and cooked breakfast.  Before I took a bite I started to cry.

“What’s the matter, Alan?”

It took me a few moments to compose myself.  “No one has cooked breakfast for me at home in more than thirty years.  I appreciate it.  Thank you.”

On that morning I don’t recall if either of us said the words “I love you”, but I’ll always remember the music of Sprite’s caring.

Saying or showing another human being “I love you” is a wonderful way to stay connected.

First thing each morning is an ideal time to begin.

Alan