How Thick Is Your Skin?

I’m speaking metaphorically here.  It is said that we have “thick skin” if we allow insults to roll off our back, and we have “thin skin” if we become unduly upset.

This is a personal matter.

Recently, a business associate of mine complained that he was offended by several emails from my office.  I asked him to forward them to me.  When I read the emails, I found nothing even remotely offensive. I receive similar emails every day and have no problem with them.

So who is right?  We both are.  Sensitivity is personal.

I have found that as I’ve become more experienced in business my skin has become thicker.  I’ve been active in commercial real estate for more than fifty years.  I no longer take it personally when the vacancy percentage of the properties we manage is higher than I would like it to be, because it is always higher than I would like.  It’s the marketplace.  No one is “out to get me.”

I also do not take it personally when tenants (almost always those who are late in paying their rent) insult me or my company.  I’ve understood for many years that their goal is to pay their rent late, or not at all, and my job is to collect all rents on time and in full.  Thick skin serves me well in business.

But when I take that same skin home at the end of the day, thin skin is better.  When my wife shares with me problems from her own day, I’ve learned to listen patiently.  I resist the temptation to offer suggestions.  My experience is that she appreciates my advice more when she specifically asks for it.  In other words, I leave my “boss” hat in the office where it belongs.

A friend of mine operates an online business.  Several years ago he was extremely upset when he and his business were lambasted on the internet for not being “politically correct.”  I talked him off the ledge and reassured him that he had, in fact, done nothing wrong.

In many situations, thick skin can help you to be happier.  You don’t have to care what everyone thinks about you, especially internet trolls and other bullies.

Thin skin can also help you to be happier. By becoming more sensitive to those you love, you can enjoy better relationships. This includes becoming more sensitive to yourself and your own needs.

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I hope you will allow these words to help you.

Alan