I Ask for Help

I’m writing this blog to memorialize one of the best weeks of my life.

It shouldn’t have been a good week. After a personal crisis that I won’t elaborate on, I arrived at my son Craig’s home at 8:30 am Saturday morning.

Craig and his wife welcomed me and carried all that I had brought with me up to their guest room where I settled in.  The next day my daughter Jill drove down from her home near San Jose to spend the week with me.

I am a man who likes to take care of others.  I seldom ask for help. When I do I am sometimes turned down.  Possibly because I don’t ask for help well, or maybe because some people are more used to receiving than to giving.

Craig and his wife have two young boys and they are always busy with work. Even so, Craig spent all day Saturday with me, shopping for clothes and taking care of other emergency items.  I was touched.  Throughout the week Craig and his wife spent hours talking with me. As we opened ourselves to each other, I grew to know them better than I ever have. It was a love fest.

Jill referred me to an expert who provided me with advice that was pivotal in helping me resolve my problem.  Jill also drove me to and from work all week, handling her own life from a laptop in my office.  On Friday her son flew to Los Angeles and the three of us spent the best day together I can ever remember.

During the week my office staff was extremely supportive. They went above and beyond.

Many close friends and family members called or texted me with support, and to tell me they love me.

On Saturday, Craig, his family and I, participated in the peaceful March For Our Lives demonstration in downtown Santa Monica.  I carried a sign I created myself, complete with blinking lights, that said, “POETS NOT BULLETS”.  One man offered to carry my sign for a while, many people took photos of it, and there were “thumbs up” all around.

I always want to be better tomorrow than I am today.  So what are the lessons I’ve learned?

First, when you need help ask for it.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

Second, when life serves you lemons, make lemonade.  It may sound trite, but I’ve found that when one door closes many doors open.  You only have to maintain a positive attitude and use a tiny bit of your energy to help those doors along.

Third, when I share more of myself, friends and family share more of themselves.  Life is reciprocal.  Though I’m not always responsible for what comes my way.  I’m always responsible for what I do with it.

As a result of this experience, I intend to be even more open with my family and close friends than I have been. An old Alka Seltzer commercial says, “Try it.  You’ll like it,” I agree.

Craig is very good at puns.  Last Sunday morning he said, “Today may be a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.”  Haha.

Here’s to the future. Here’s to asking for what you need from family and friends — and here’s to receiving it.

With love and thanks to all,

Alan