I Will Fall Into Your Arms

This morning I enjoyed watching a TV program – World of Dance.  I seldom dance because I think I’m not very good at it, but I like to watch it from the comfort of my chair.  (It’s the same with golf).

In the program, one of the judges counseled a woman before her performance.   “Your dancing is great, but just before a lift you hesitate.  You stop to prepare yourself.  Change that.  Just let yourself fall into your partner’s arms and trust him to catch you.”

She did.  Their dancing was perfect.

At age 28 I denied that anyone had better ideas than I did.  Today I know that many people have better ideas, and I often rely on the ability, experience, and judgment of my friends, family, and colleagues.  I found wisdom in the judge’s words.  These days when I like a statement I consider how it might apply to my own life.

In the 1970’s I participated in many “encounter” groups.  One of the “trust” exercises was to relax and fall backward into the waiting arms of others.  A few members refused to even try.  Others let go and just did it.  I took the middle ground.  I trusted the group’s intent, but not their ability — because I weighed more than 250 pounds at the time.  So I fudged.  The few times I fell backward I remained fully prepared to catch myself.

After watching the dance show this morning I decided to apply the judge’s advice to my own emotional life.  “Just let yourself fall into your partner’s arms and trust her to catch you.”

I haven’t often done this.  It doesn’t feel entirely safe.  And as with the physical, I have taken the emotional middle ground.  To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, “Trust, but don’t let yourself get hurt.”

Or as Hamlet might say, “To fully trust or not to fully trust, that is the question.”

I’m not going to suggest that you or I emotionally trust every person every hour of every day.  That could be a road to regret.  But always playing it “safe”, seems an equally certain street to separation, both emotional and, eventually, physical.

The key to trusting your parents, your partner, or your best friend is to try it out.  When you need emotional support ask for it.  Then fall into his or her arms.

I like to take care of people.  Why should you and I deprive all of those who love us of the opportunity to take care of us as well?

Alan