Keep the Genie in the Bottle

I loved the TV show “I Dream of Jeannie,” which ran from 1965 through 1970.  I imagined Jeannie popping out of her bottle and granting my fondest wish. Ten years ago I was a speaker at an event where Barbara Eden (who played Jeannie), also appeared.  In the TV series she was a 2,000-year-old genie.  When I met her in real life she was in her seventies and, while still glamorous, she wasn’t granting any more wishes.

In my business I solve problems. I used to wish that a genie would appear and solve them for me.  Alas, no genie has yet materialized, so as a more realistic alternative I practice keeping my genie of fear contained inside my emotional bottle, and I leave that bottle at the office.

In other words, I don’t take my business home with me.  But the rules I follow are useful even outside of a business context.

1. Don’t waste time and emotion worrying about a problem that you can’t do anything about. You will feel worse, and the problem will likely run its course anyway.
2. If you can solve the problem, go for it. I always feel better when I’m actively working on a solution. But give yourself permission to leave it at the office or take a break. Research suggests stepping away for a time can help you find a solution.  (People Tool of “Stuff it in your Sub.”)
3. Remember to remain positive and be thankful for the gift of every new challenge. After all, life is full of tests, and working to find an answer can be both stimulating and rewarding. Daveen, for example, likes crossword puzzles.
4. When you aren’t working to solve the problem that is troubling you, let it go. Pretend it doesn’t exist.  When it pops into your head anyway, and it will, just note, “Aha, you are visiting me again.”  Then distract yourself by thinking of something else.  Something pleasant. Something you look forward to.
5. All of this takes practice, so I encourage you to keep training yourself to put these ideas into action.
6. Finally, cultivate a Zen-like approach. Always keep in mind, “This too shall pass.”

The Declaration of Independence declares as a fundamental right the pursuit of happiness.  To me this means that we have the right to live in a way that makes us happy.  Don’t we encourage our children to do exactly that?

But what about the fantasy that our lives should always be easy?  Keep that genie in her bottle.  And enjoy today in the real world.

Alan