Lunch With Grandpa

My parents grew up in New York City. They left New York soon after their wedding and drove a 1928 Dodge across the United States to Los Angeles, where Dad hoped to find work as a professional French horn player. The interstate highway system was built in the 1950’s, so many of the roads they travelled were unpaved gravel.

My dad had wanted to move as far away from his relatives as he could. In Los Angeles he and my mom didn’t know anyone.  Though Mom wrote letters virtually every day, we had almost no physical contact with our East coast relatives.  That was exactly what Dad wanted.

When I was nineteen, I qualified to attend the National Intercollegiate Debate Tournament at West Point.  While I was in New York I invited my grandfather Abraham Fox to lunch.

I met Abe at his place of work – an un air-conditioned sweatshop in the garment district of New York, where he was employed as a tailor, working as fast as he could because he was paid by the piece.

He insisted on treating me to lunch.  “We’ll go where the big executives eat lunch,” he said proudly.  I was dressed in a nice suit and tie, my usual attire back then. My grandfather was dressed in a suit of his own, although from the tattered condition of his jacket and the creases in his tie, it seemed likely those were the “dress up” clothes he owned.

When he pulled out a five dollar bill to pay for lunch, I felt a tremendous conflict.  “I’ll pay,” he said.  While I couldn’t embarrass him by insisting that I pay, I suspected this was a major part of his weekly paycheck. At the time I was already earning five dollars an hour as a math tutor.

Of the many lunches I have enjoyed in my life, this was the most poignant and bittersweet.

Grandpa Fox retired to Florida and lived to be 94 years old.  I remain in Los Angeles, which is now filled with Foxes.  For my recent 82nd birthday we hosted 22 family members, not counting those who couldn’t attend.

I can certainly understand my dad wanting to escape from the foibles and conflicts of family, but I feel differently.

Fox Family – I like spending time together.  See you again soon.

Love,

Alan